Tag: life skills

Being Adventurous and Coming Out of Your Shell-Important Life Lessons To All Exceptional Parents

I am a recovering chance a holic. Yes, that’s right. I was a woman who used to be afraid to take chances like ago. I liked to play it safe. Do what felt predictable and not make waves. And then I had an exceptional son, and life became anything BUT predictable. Kids turn your world into an unpredictable whir of constant activity, but having a child with special needs is that unpredictable whir and then some. At the beginning of the journey, you question your stability, your sanity. You wonder if you can handle raising a child who is nothing like you expected. You also wonder if you have the strength to raise yourself at the same time, because parents, we all know our children raise us if we are paying attention. That means they teach us life lessons that go so much deeper than the every day. And if we are paying attention, we learn what we have to change in ourselves to do not only the whole parenting thing, but the whole living thing better.

This evening I was talking to Dad about this. We were talking about how Michael was changing and growing and needed new challenges, new things to help him grow. I confessed to Dad that I was feeling the same way. I was growing. I needed new things to help me break out of old unproductive patterns of thought and living. I was ready to shed the old fears and take on my dreams full throttle. I was learning how to let go of things and people I couldn’t control and control what I can, my thoughts and my emotions alone. This was something I was in the process of learning, but yet I was teaching this to Michael. That’s ok. We’re learning and growing together, I thought, though as the adult, I am usually one step ahead.

It’s important when we are learning as parents, to pass on the message of teaching to our children, and helping them see better ways of doing things and being true to themselves. Yes, there are obstacles in all our lives. But we need to be strong enough to say that we can overcome them with small positive changes we make in our life everyday. We have to teach our children that this is possible, and help them see that they are truly a miracle of life, love and perfection. They need to find what makes them happy and go for it. Then, we as parents, need to encourage that energy and help them.

Exceptional Parents,  how often have you been afraid to take a chance and try something new for yourself or your child? What do you have to lose by trying? Remember, life is lived by taking chances, seizing opportunities for growth wherever they come, and learning from our mistakes when things do not go well. Teach your child to celebrate all in their story. It will help carve out the incredible person they are meant to be. Until next time.

Are you the parent of an Exceptional Child struggling with how best to handle challenging behavior? Are you worried about development, anxiety, or doubting your abilities to help your child become the best they can be? I can help you find your confidence as a parent again. For more information about my journey and coaching programs, check out my website: http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com. Let me help personalize tools that will help your Exceptional family thrive! 

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Teaching And Learning Life Skills-What My Exceptional Child Is Teaching Me

Sometimes there is a day when I see it all coming together and I worry less, especially lately. Yesterday, was such a day. Michael did so well. There were changes in our plans in the am. With some advance warning and options, he had a fun morning at home while I worked, and in the afternoon we adjusted the schedule slightly too. He wanted to go to some stores to buy a toy for a friend and to spend some of his holiday money on some stuff for himself. I especially liked that he was spending some of the money on a friend. His birthday has kind of gone over the top this year, which has been challenging for everyone. I also was so proud of him for how he handled paying at the cash, counting out his money, as well as understanding the concept of how much things cost. It is coming. Life skills. Independence. When he succeeds, I see his confidence blooming. For a Mom who is seeing just how anxious he is and how much stress he carries around, this is truly a victory.

Between communicating better this week, seeing how good behavior is rewarded and learning to apply basic life skills, I know how not only Michael, but all exceptional children can succeed with the right tools. He also helped me be more patient. In watching him at the stores looking for my guidance and when he made a mistake apologizing, I realized how there had been times recently when for various personal reasons I may not have been as patient and calm as I wished I had been. It’s hard. It’s especially challenging when both parent and child are tired and communication is not clear. This is when the parent, who in theory is usually the calmer one, needs to take a deep breath and get control of a situation that could become stressful. Easier said than done. Yesterday, I was exhausted. But I remembered to stay calm on the outside and inside to set the example for Michael. I remembered how I always tell him to “turn it around” so at moments when my body was crying out for coffee and quiet, I reminded myself, he is watching how you handle yourself if there are challenges. Model calm, quiet, peace and he will learn those things eventually.

Exceptional Parents, how has your Exceptional Child started growing up? This is essentially what I have been seeing with mine. They all grow up in different ways, and help us grow up too; either by guiding them and ourselves better, teaching us more patience, and reminding us that even when our kids drive us crazy we love them to pieces as they do us. They and we are doing the best that we can. Let’s do our best together by encouraging, loving and modeling calm. Until next time.