Tag: intuition

Issues of Control and Needing Love-Michael’s and My Exceptional Journey

child, family, generation

Michael is going through a period of life now where he is asserting himself. He is becoming more independent which I love, but it can sometimes be annoying. How, you ask? Well, he will insist on doing EVERYTHING by himself. And by that, I mean like for instance if I got the food for his snack he would take the food, put it back in the cupboard and get it himself. It is a part independence/part OCD thing, but I am proud all the same. I am trying to teach him though that you can work together with someone in a team AND be independent. That is proving the harder lesson to teach, but we are getting there slowly.

As frustrating as it is when he tests my patience with doing things over, and knowing he can’t swear will say a silly word, I know my little boy is blooming. When I get frustrated, I remind myself of when he was little and I prayed he would be aware of us. Then he was. Then I prayed he would begin talking and communicating, and he did. Then I prayed he would read and write which he is starting to do. The next thing I pray for is for Michael to learn to handle this anxiety and stress and figure out when he can do things himself and when he can ask for help.  I am proud he is communicating stress to me.

Yesterday evening Michael and I navigated baking together for the first time in about six months. It was trying at times and fun at others. All of the time I was reminding him about balance, asking for help or clarification if you needed it, and then telling me he was ready to do it alone if I was still being the protector Mama. I am getting better at stepping away from that role though. I am learning that even if it is harder for Michael or takes longer, he needs to experience doing things on his own by himself. I am proud as I watch him struggle then figure it out. I was not allowed to do this until I was older. It impacted my confidence, and I want to make sure Michael’s confidence gets a boost before his twenties. My parents did their best and what they did helped me, but hindered me in other ways. I hope to teach Michael to fly with confidence at a younger age, and still show him the unconditional love my parents still have for my brother and I now that we are adults.

Exceptional Parents, when do you notice your Exceptional Children pulling away from you to seek control? When do you notice them pushing into you at other times for reassurance of your love in their way? It’s important as you know, to strike a balance between the two, control and love and let them see that by working with you they gain independence and keep your love. Until next time.

Overwhelmed by anxiety? Download my FREE EBOOK: “5 WAYS TO MANAGE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” at: www.exceptionalparenting.net under EBOOKS. Fill in the submission form to receive your FREE EBOOK.

 

Exceptional Mistakes and The Universe

 

So today I made two mistakes. One was a personal one as a Mom, the other one was a business one. They both caused me great stress, but were wonderful learning experiences. I learned about how far I’ve come in forgiving myself for errors of judgment, and I learned how easy it is to get caught up in the hectic day to day pace of life that we forget to pace ourselves, as parents and as individuals. I also learned how having a system to keep track of things, again both personal and for business, can help.

Michael had a hard time today handling some morning misbehavior and forgiving himself for it. His anxiety and the mounting pressure to do things right and quickly, ended up making his nervous and through off the beginning of his day and mine. We worked it out after a yelling match, and I drove him into school. The incident involved not finishing his homework on time. He had asked me if we could do his work in the morning as he was tired the night before. I was nervous about this, but figured what the heck. We’ll try. Later in the day, I had a similar incident of seeing an error of judgement I’d made on a piece of writing that I wasn’t sure was finished to the best of its ability.

I had an Aha moment when I realized the universe had been speaking to me on both occasions, my inner voice telling me, “do the homework the night before,” and “have another look at that piece of writing.” Neither choice spelled permanent disaster. Michael and I made up, and I was given another chance to rework the piece of writing. And miracles of all miracles, I felt the full fear of failure I have in the past when I made big mistakes. I would usually at that point proceed to beat myself up with comments like saying I am useless, etc but then peace filled me. A voice inside told me that yes, I failed, but that I am alive and well and I will grow as a Mom and as a writer from this experience, if I use it correctly and don’t see it as punishment. I’ve come a long way from the scared woman I used to be who feared failure and risk. I also immediately thought to some decisions this week I had made where I had listened to my gut. All of them had worked out beautifully, from the small ones to the big ones. If anything, all this outlined to me how important listening to my inner voice is, and how I must teach Michael to listen to his. Had he listened, he would have not left his homework to the last minute either. 🙂

Exceptional Parents, how often have you not listened to your gut, your intuition and your inner voice? What has it cost you and your child when you have done this? I’m sure the experience was not positive when you didn’t follow that voice. Do yourself a favor. Listen to it, in your personal life, in your job, in your relationships. It won’t lead you wrong, I promise you. It will bring you to a freedom that you never imagined possible, and you will be led down a path where you see the beauty of your life and your child’s. Until next time.