Tag: children with autism

Exceptional Mommy Resolutions for 2017

We are almost at the close of another year. It’s incredible how fast the time goes whether we want it to or not. As I look back over this year, I see how far Michael, his Dad and I have come as individuals and as a family. Dad and I have started to not make any more excuses for where we are not and start to work on where we want to be as individuals and as parents. We have showed and continue to show that to Michael. It is hard sometimes. There are days of self-pity for all of us. But I am happy that I can now step back when I am in this mode and look at myself as if I am a character in a play and even laugh a little, “Oh, there she goes singing the I have no time for me card. Oh, there she goes singing the oh this is so hard card.” And I realize. Things are only as hard as we want to make them. Sure, there are challenges in life and obstacles. But if we break them down into small steps, we can succeed. If we instead decide to pity ourselves, we cut ourselves and our abilities short.

resolutions, scrabble

2016 was a terrible year for a lot of close people around me. Family and friends have struggled and continue to struggle with health issues, personal and psychological. Dad and I struggled to help Michael when he started exhibiting more challenging behaviors and had to rule out more serious mental health issues, which we were so relieved were not present. We also had to look at our own personal situation: financial and our home and see what changes we needed to start making to move forward. We had our share of challenges too. Isn’t that always what a New Year does? It’s a chance to start over fresh and make positive changes. So, here if anyone is interested, are my Exceptional Mommy New Year’s Resolutions:

  1. Show more patience and kindness: This is something I am going to start doing with me first and then work outwards with family, friends and the world. When we feel positive and light we affect those around us with that same light.
  2. Take care of my overall health: I do a pretty good job here, but I want to really make a point to continue my regular meditation, yoga, exercise routine along with eating well and regular medical checkups as well as prioritizing things like personal time to read and unwind. As a business owner my leisure time is non existent at the moment unless I’ve had a really tough day. That is going to change.
  3. Work on my fiction regularly and send out a completed fiction novel to publishers: I have my dream job of freelance writing and love connecting with parents as a coach. The problem is that I do not have a heck of a lot of time for my fiction writing. I want to carve out regular fiction writing time and send out an old novel to publishers. You never know ! 🙂
  4. Make time for more prayer, spiritual reading and reflection: This is something that I have been talking about since the fall. I will make the time to do this, as I have seen just like exercise, without my time in prayer and reflection, other things in my life come apart.
  5. I will try new things that scare the bleep out of me: I did a few of these in 2016. More to come in 2017. I have seen that it is only by pushing ourselves to the edge of that cliff that we can say we are truly alive and growing. We need to trust that there is a net to catch us below. God help me, I will teach this to Michael too. Autism or not, he has to learn to trust his instincts and I will work with him to do that.

Exceptional Parents, what are some of your New  Year’s resolutions for you and your Exceptional Child? What do you need to let go of and move towards? We all have things we want to change. Use this time as a time of rebirth and renewal. Teach your child to make realistic resolutions if they are capable of it. If not, model for them your own personal transformation, the best example you could set. Wishing you all a Happy and Healthy New Year in 2017! Until next time.

Are you looking to make changes in your special needs parenting life? Do you need support on your journey?  I am a writer and parent coach who is passionate about empowering parents to trust their own instinct when raising their exceptional children with autism, and remembering that parenthood is as much a journey for us as childhood is for our children. For more information on my parent coaching programs, and to book a FREE 30 Minute Consultation, see my website: http://www.exceptionalparenting.net.

It’s almost the new year.  Do you need new strategies to cope with anxiety? Download my FREE EBOOK on “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” http://www.exceptionalparenting.net/EBOOKS.

 

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Parent/Teacher Interviews and More Growth for This Mom and Her Son!

 

So last night was the Parent/Teacher Interviews at Michael’s school. As always, it was as much a learning experience for me as it was for Michael. I was happy and it was a positive experience, in spite of the testing he is doing at home. I heard once again thankfully, how well Michael is progressing in reading, writing and math. He is starting to grasp the basic concepts, and as his teacher told me, is able to understand what is expected from him in with work and in holding a conversation. He is kind to others in the class and has many friends. It is a dream come true for this Mom. He is also holding it together very well in school. His body is regulated and he is able to sit and focus and learn. The anxiety he holds is released at home, and for that I am grateful. I am also grateful that he is working with the school psychologist on a program to help him handle his anger triggers and learn to respond appropriately at home as he does in school to stress.

At home he will react inappropriately using vulgar words, will laugh at things that are not funny, and will be aggressive at times when he hears things from me that he does not “like” as he says. I and his Dad will tell him that is ok to not like it, but that he needs to respond in a respectful and calm way. It is all to test us, and to test the newfound independence he is exploring as he enters the double digit years soon. As one professional put it, he is experimenting with his physical and mental agility, and on how far he can go in asserting himself and his opinion. I am told by lots of other parents with children on and off the spectrum that this  is perfectly normal, but that we need to show him boundaries. At the same time, what I have been reading is that anxiety and anger come out in times of fear. We are not teachers and professionals, but I think he still wants to please us and worries that he fails us when he makes mistakes. Though it is not always easy, Dad and I are trying to slow down, be there for him by sitting and talking to him, and tell him we love him just as he is because we do, of course. We don’t love the negative behavior, but we love him. And I truly believe when the parent is calm, the child will become calm. This is something I remind myself of every day. If I am not calm and able to show that, my child will not be calm.

Exceptional Parents, what feelings do Parent/Teacher Interviews bring out in you; worry, excitement, dread? It’s normal to be concerned about your child’s full development, but remember it’s ok if the child takes two steps ahead in one area, and falls behind in another. Life is about that back and forth for all of us. Just remember, to ask questions, seek support, and most of all, just love your child, love them for who they are and accept where they are. You can both work from there on other issues. Until next time.

Tired of anxiety controlling you and your child? Download my FREE EBOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” http://www.exceptionalparenting.net/EBOOKS

Autism Is A Gift That You Help Your Child Unleash

I was warned that one day Michael would catch up on many of his milestones. I was even told that he would zip through developmental stages, and start to catch up to peers. I was told the process could be accelerated. I knew this logically, but emotionally on weeks when my little genius is driving me crazy like this week, it is harder to take. Yes, there I said it! And that means a lot. As a writer and artist as well as a parent coach, it takes a lot for me to say that another human being is driving me crazy when, well, ask my friends, I’m pretty crazy myself. But you see, that’s what I love about me. I love that I don’t adhere to someone else’s definition of happiness. I love that I don’t  try to fit in and be something I am not anymore. I did that for twenty odd years. It led me to two depressions,  self-hatred, and caused to try to live someone else’s version of what my life should be. Like many people, I found out that I was not only my own worst enemy, but also my own prisoner and  only I could unlock the door to my cell. What a relief to be out in the open now.

This is truly the artist in me speaking. I also love how I am seeing that it is when I think outside the box, when I color outside the lines in my own life, that true beauty and happiness is found. I feel I am truly being me, and I’d like to think, I can help others be truly them, as parents to their exceptional children and as individuals. Michael is the one who finally freed me completely. My writing and poetry started the process, and is basically what kept me sane in those twenty years. Michael completed the project and continues to help me see I am on the right path. His inner beauty, his light, shines through on all the darkness in the world.  I know it is hard soul work parenting a child, any child. One who has autism means that as a parent we need to do extra soul work, and be extra gentle on ourselves. Only then can we give our children what they need to grow.

Exceptional Parents, are you both amazed and frustrated by your Exceptional Children on some days? Do you sometimes scream to the heavens, why me? I can’t do this! I can’t be the parent he/she needs. They are amazing and they need someone stronger, better, wiser.  Well, guess what parents. You are the right parent. You know your child, for better or worse, and you know what they need when they need it. Take a break once in awhile to recharge your batteries. Step away from parenting to see more clearly. Ask for help and support. But never give up on your child or yourself. They have  amazing potential, all of our children, and your job is to discover that potential and help unleash it on the world. But first parents, you need to find your own potential, your own light. You have it. And when you find it, you will see how it will get you through the rough times and you and your child will persevere. Until next time.