Category: Mother and son time

Emerging-How To Connect To All Areas Of Your Exceptional Life and Parent Better

To say that I have this exceptional parenting thing under control at all times would be a lie, but I also have a confession to make. After an extremely challenging two years with Michael as well as personally, I am also at a point in my exceptional parenting life when I am seeing things coming together for me and how I look at Michael, myself and my relationships. How did it all start? Well, it began when I became tired of always pushing down resentments, fear and anger. Once I realized that my feelings were as valid as Michael’s, I began seeing how important it was I own them as much as I teach Michael to own his. I also realized how important my own personal happiness was too, just like Michael’s.

So now, when I am tired and need a break, I have no issues saying, I need 20 min. I’m taking it. I come back recharged and ready to handle anything. Finally, I also own failures and times when I don’t make good choices, and like I tell Michael, it’s ok to make mistakes. We live, we learn, we grow. I have even been known a few times to say when I yelled and became frustrated, Mom forgot to use her calming strategies.

Just this evening I said something without thinking that upset Michael. He felt I was treating him like a baby and he hates this. He grumbled, “Why didn’t you stop and think before talking Mom?” I almost laughed. It is usually me telling him that. “Because I forgot Michael. You are right. See, we all forget to do this sometimes.” I have also learned how to sit down with Michael and talk about what we can change to communicate better and so both of us are calmer and happier. This has made a world of difference.

But what things have helped me connect everything together in my parenting life to grow and become stronger? Here is the list I follow and continuously revise as needed:

  1. Make time for things that nourish my spirit: For me this is meditation, yoga and writing.  I pretty much do all three every day, and if I ever miss a day with any of them, I get back to it first thing the next day.
  2. Get enough sleep: No matter what I am falling behind on at home, I do not sacrifice sleep.
  3. Enjoy time alone with no guilt: Time alone for me is spent taking strolls in a bookstore, nature walks, or sitting quietly reading a good book with a cup of coffee. This is time well spent as it re-energizes me and gives me patience to handle any parenting stress that comes my way.
  4. Make time to talk and see friends: Spending time with adults, like minded ones that make you laugh and share your highs and lows, also helps you see the whole picture of your parenting life. It’s not all bad!
  5. Write down the progress your child has made: This has been one that has been a game changer for me. With all the struggles and hard times our family has had, seeing how far Michael has come in maturing, and seeing it on paper in a place in the house where we all can look at it, has helped us all celebrate the successes and look to the positive.
  6. Realizing that I am the guide, not the savior: I used to think that I was responsible for saving my child or making sure he made all the right decisions or else I would have failed as an exceptional parent. Now, I see more realistically that I am Michael’s guide. I am here to teach him, help and support him, and show him the path, but then it is his choice which way to go. His choice, good or bad, and I am not responsible for that. I love him no matter what an tell him that, but he is responsible for his choices, not me.  This has taken a lot of pressure off of me.

Exceptional Parents, how have you emerged and changed as an exceptional parent over the years? Remember, each thing you learn as you parent, helps you to grow and become stronger. You grow through the good and bad moments. You grow through learning to let go of old hurts and embrace your mistakes as well as successes. And through it all you realize one day that you find balance in your life again, and acceptance of yourself as you do of your child. This is when you can truly parent from your best place. Until next time.

Giving Space And Making Boundaries-Finding the Balance With Your Exceptional Child

Finding the balance. That sounds like such a cliché for life in general, especially living in a family, but it is all about balance- having time alone, having time with your child or children, having time as a couple and with friends and extended family. And then of course, there are the strategies you need to put into place to have this happen, this balance. It’s not easy. We need to have a system in place though for ourselves, so then it is easier to show our exceptional kids what is expected of them.

It has taken me a while to fine tune a balance with Michael. What was balance when he was five years old changed when he was eight and now at twelve it is even more different. Balance for me also looks different today and is healthier. So what exactly does this mean? It means giving your child their own personal space while they give you yours. This space means they can create, make mistakes and learn from it. You as the parent have this same option. Boundaries though, are the things our kids can’t cross. Children and adults should both respect boundaries for things like hugs, personal space and time alone.

As Michael has grown up, he has needed less time one on one with Dad and I. This does not mean that he does not still turn to us for advice, sharing news, and to talk. It just means he does not need us to create his whole schedule like when he was younger. He still needs a schedule though, but he now sets the pace. Many exceptional kids need the space to set their own activities, while parents still put down the rules for other activities. Figuring this out with your child means finding what amount of time they can organize, and what they need help with. Emotionally, kids need us at all ages, but as they grow up, it’s important to have them learn how to self-regulate, handle disappointment as well as success and excitement. You are there in the wings to help them, but let them fly.

Exceptional Parents, how do you find the balance with your Exceptional Child? The best way is to start with the basic things that make relationships work-discussing time spent together, discussing time spent apart, and compromising with each other in between. Let your child take the lead in asking for what they need, then you as the parent lovingly guide them to choosing what they are capable of choosing and setting up parental rules and protections on the rest of your relationship. A child will feel safest when they have some control, and parents have rules as safeguards in place for the rest. Until next time.

When Similarities Between You and Your Exceptional Child Cause Clashing-5 Ways To Survive And Thrive

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As Michael and I each went to our “calm corners” the other day after a fight, I realized, and not for the first time, how similar our temperaments really are and why I am so easily triggered by his anger and anxiety when I am not taking care of my own stress. It was both comforting and annoying at the same time to see that when I am failing at handling our crises calmly, it is usually when I am overtired, stressed and anxious myself. My anger comes out at that point and I feel the need for controlling his outburts. I can’t. It’s that simple. I cannot control my son’s anger and anxiety. The days I realize this are the days I stay calm and the crisis is resolved faster.

I used to make it a daily task, thinking it was my job to not only teach Michael to control his emotions but if he failed, it meant I had failed, and not failed to show him a technique, but to stop it. Crazy huh. I finally stopped believing I had to control every single one of his emotional outbursts after he officially entered puberty. He was already well on his way to knowing how to express himself. He was stronger and getting taller by the minute, and most of all, though I had known this all along, puberty really brought home the fact that he was and is a separate entity from me. We are not joined at the hip as too many Moms think of themselves and their child. I had to stop taking everything he messed up on as a personal failure and address my own need to super control what I could not.

The next thing I realized was my own anxious and angry temperament when I was not using my newfound strategies to not ‘push down’ feelings. Yes, I was a pusher when younger. I had even fooled myself that I was happy, calm and had it together. I was really quite perfectionist, and thought that I didn’t deserve a heck of a lot. Over the last fifteen years I have worked hard to set up personal boundaries with people, practice self-care and learn about what helps curb my anger and anxiety. This is all thanks to my son who still challenges the hell out of me to make myself a better human being.

So how do you survive (and even allow yourself to occasionally laugh at) the possibility of having similarities with your Exceptional Child? Here’s what works for me:

  1. See the spirited side of you both: Yep. You heard me right. You know how we say hyper or anxious kids are spirited? Well, so are the adults. You bring people a different perspective on things because while over analyzing problems you see all the angles. Your child is like this too, so look at the positives in this. You are detailed, creative and ready to stand by your opinion. Just don’t let it consume you day and night and it is a positive.
  2. Recognize your needs for exercise or movement: What works for an upset me or an upset Michael is moving- rocking, walking, having a good cry or scream. Let it out in a safe place and then regroup and talk it out with each other.
  3. Celebrate the quirky, don’t diminish it: Whatever weird thing your child does you celebrate because it is who they are. If you have one of these traits, do the same.
  4. Don’t try to fix everything for them or you: Don’t be a perfectionist person or parent. It will only make you and your child miserable. If you want to do something special for them and they are not interested, don’t push it because you think you are a bad Mom for not doing it. Listen to what they say, unspoken and spoken. If you are not sure, go with your gut on what makes you and your child happy in the end. It won’t steer you wrong.
  5. Don’t take your child’s attempts to trigger you personally. Oh so hard if you are a sensitive parent yourself, but it really is true. Make sure you are as rested, calm and balanced as possible, and don’t let your child’s attempts to trigger you with words and actions seriously. Two out of control people won’t help. Show them what you’ve learned about self-control and practice it. If you mess up, and you will because you’re human, fess up. Take yourself somewhere to calm down, talk about what you did wrong, and how you will fix it. This will help them see what they could do right next time too.

Exceptional Parents, how many times have you been hard on yourself for yelling at your child for some of the same traits you had growing up? We’ll all done it. The important thing to remember is that by you recognizing your similarities with your child personality wise, the good and bad ones, it will bring you both closer as you continue to encourage the positive traits in each other and work on supporting your child while healing yourself of the negative traits. Remember, you are both raising each other in the end. Sometimes it will be beautiful. Sometimes it will be painful. In the end, there will be growth either way. Until next time.

 

Getting And Receiving Love- How To Show Your Exceptional Child To Reciprocate Feelings

“Theory of Mind” as it is called, is something hard for people with autism to understand. It means being able to see things from another point of view of their own, a non autistic point of view. This is hard for neuro typical people as well to do, seeing things from an autistic point of view.  If we make an effort though to understand that our child’s perspective differs from ours, hopefully we could meet them somewhere in the middle. This is something I am finding easier to do with Michael as both of us are understanding about our differences and similarities. Michael is making a big effort to understand me, how I think and what I like, while he sees me doing the same for him.

And the thing is that when we clash in our views, we can talk about it. Oh boy, there is a lot of talking. It is good and sometimes exhausting for me, but I remind myself that this is Michael’s way of navigating a world that is still foreign to him on many levels and needs explaining. I have to remind myself on tiring days of that old story I was told when I first found out Michael had autism. How would I feel being dropped in a country where I didn’t know the language, people or customs and told to follow along? Of course, it would have been stressful and overwhelming. Kids who are exceptional live that reality every day. It is not easy being in their skin. As parents, we have to remember to give them the time they need to acclimate.

This is why teaching them to relate to us is as important as learning to relate to them. We need to know what makes them tick; what they life, dislike and what new interests they have. We need to tell and show them what we enjoy. As they begin to relate more to the world around them, we can share our interests, our limits, and our life with them. This will encourage them to open up.

Lately, I have really begun seeing how much Michael is opening up to us. He always has, but now it is by showing us his fears, his loves, and his interests and wanting us to be as passionate as we can be about them. For example, Michael has been kind of hurt that I do not enjoy taking him on drives as much as Dad does. Dad knows the city better and it is one the activities that is best suited for the two of them due to other reasons as well. Before Michael liked going to parks and stores with me. Now that happens very occasionally only, so he will say I will talk to Dad about traffic as you are not interested. I tell him I am. It is just that Dad knows the city more. I am working on improving my directions knowledge for me as well, but I have also shared with Michael that I love hearing him talk about traffic because I know it is his interest. I have told him it is like my writing. And I know he has made comments, “have you done any writing today?” “have you done your meditation and yoga?” “are you going out with your Mom friends?”. He knows where my interests lie and is paying more attention as well as asking more questions. He also will demand I take him places and then when I remind him we don’t demand he will say please. He misses me and sometimes forgets how to ask me, but when reminded, does a great job.

I always praise when he does this. His empathy is improving, as well when he inquiries about how Dad and I are feeling. We have to work on managing emotions like anger and anxiety, but other than that, things are starting to go more smoothly. I am happy that he is making progress on those fronts.

Exceptional Parents, how do you teach your Exceptional Child to talk with you and see your point of view? How do you see theirs? It is a tough thing to balance for both parent and child. In the end, as long as both of you give in a little and except a little in return; a little bit of understanding, support and compromise, things will go smoothly. Until next time.

When Your Exceptional Tween Reaches Out-How To Meet Them Halfway

Puberty has been challenging for Michael. I have said this before. He is dealing with a lot of different emotions and feelings and having to learn to self-regulate and practice impulse control. Thankfully aggressive behavior overall is going down, and even anxiety. He is recognizing his strengths and giving himself credit. Dad and I are working on reminding him of that. He is also recognizing his limitations and asking for help. What I am impressed about and very proud of him for, however, is that he is willing to meet us halfway now. Yes, we are compromising as parents and child. This is mandatory when your child has ADHD or a different kind of brain  with lots of other challenges, as from the beginning, they see obstacles and the world in general in another way than you do.

Where am I seeing compromise? Michael understands we make the rules for his general well-being, and if he wants to stay up later, do a fun activity longer, he checks with us.  He also will give different ideas concerning controlling anger and if they don’t work, go looking for what else he can try. He is trying to learn how to get out there socially in an appropriate way, AND communicating how he feels about his relationship with us. The other day he got upset when I was heading downstairs to write;

“Mommy, can you stay upstairs until I go to bed and go write downstairs after? Can you stay in the same room with Daddy and I. You can write here or read, right?”
“I can, but you’re listening to music with your headphones anyway.  Does it really matter?”
“Yes. If you stay here with Daddy and I (Dad also had headphones on watching his videos). I know we are a family.”

“We’re a family wherever we sit Michael. We do lots of things as a family.”
“But I miss you.”
My heart swelled with love. He may not want hugs and kisses from me, but he wanted my presence. He wanted the security of us all in the room together even if we were doing different things. My big boy cares and wants to bond with us still. Lately he has also been sharing more confidences with me, and a biggie everyone, he has been confessing things he did wrong, opening up by saying; “I don’t want to lie to you Mommy.” I am so proud of how he is growing up. Dad and I tell him that. Other than his points rewards system for drives, we are also watching his behavior and seeing that he can be left alone for short periods of time now. We are looking into letting him go on bike rides and walks (short) on his own. I think he sees the trust we are putting in him and he is finally seeing he can put that trust back in himself.

So what have I learned from meeting my exceptional tween halfway?

1) Write out a list of expectations (both of you): It’s important that both parent and child know where each stands.

2) Keep the lines of communication open by BEING physically and emotionally available for your child:  Ask about their day, find opportunities to talk and stay nearby. You’ll never know when you’ll be missed otherwise.

3) Compromise on things like bedtime and rewards but makes sure it works both ways: Don’t be such a stickler for the rules. Pick your battles with your child, but remember, have a consequence for either of you if you step out of line, and learn from the rough times as much as from the good ones.

4) Remember your child’s limits: This is hard when they are in heavy negotiations and you think that your child can’t be limited in self-control or learning, but they are. Their very different brain does not work like yours so misunderstandings will occur if things are not clearly outlined.

5)Love your child through it all: This one sounds obvious, but too many times we are frazzled and frustrated and forget that our child is struggling even when they are angry and yelling at us. It’s important after they calm themselves down and you do the same, that you show and tell them you love them always. They need to know they are accepted for who they are.

Exceptional Parents, how have you met your Exceptional Child halfway? What has been the result? I’m sure you both came out winners. It’s important to remember we all have bad days or weeks. We need as parents to teach our children how mistakes, fears and hurts help us learn. And then show them, through our example, how it is done. Until next time.

Long Walks, Long Talks-How Having A Parent/Child Routine Can Help Build Resilience In Your Child

So as Michael has pulled more inwards due to puberty and all that has brought up, I have used two physical activities he and I both enjoy doing as a way to keep the lines of communication open; bike rides and long walks. It is on the long walks, even though he brings his headphones along, that Michael will say and do things, sometimes proper, sometimes improper, and I get a chance to talk to him about his behavior and how to conduct himself in a way that brings out his best side. I have to admit that on some of our walks I hold my own emotions together better. On others, well, I raise my voice, even yell a little, then it is a lesson for me too on patience, learning to be calm, and to set a positive example of how to handle myself when up against a challenging personality. Ironically, Michael has said that it is hard to talk to me sometimes because I nag and tell him what to do. This is, of course, when I am telling him to do things that he does not want to do. I gently try to redirect him by reminding him that he may not like everything I say, but if I am saying for him to do something he may not like, for me to push that point it has to be due to his health and well being . Then I get an, oh, ok.

In spite of the ups and downs, we usually have good conversations and Michael has said he enjoys our walks and likes to talk to me. So far so good in keeping the communication lines open like when he was a young child. I too enjoy our conversations. Even when he frustrates me as he sees the world in a way I sometimes still have trouble understanding, I love the way his brain will look at something in a totally different way than a neuro typical person’s would. Sometimes his reasoning seems black and white. Other times there are so many colors  I am amazed. I always feel better after our walks as I learn things too. I learn what to continue doing and what to stop doing.

So how can a parent reach their exceptional child at any age? How do we form a strong bond? Here are some tips that have helped our family through the years:

  1. Find a common activity you both love: If possible, this is the easiest and best way to go and do this activity regularly; ie. daily walks, bike rides, a trip to the park, an outing to a favorite place, or time at home playing a game you both love.
  2. Take a HUGE interest in what you exceptional child loves: This is not always easy as sometimes our kids’ tastes may strike us parents as strange, but there is only positive things to gain if we immerse ourselves in their interests and their world. In my case Michael loves drives and navigation, and now, for better or worse so do I. 😉
  3. Find a good time of day to talk and bond: For some families mornings work best. For others evenings or weekends. The important thing is consistency.
  4. Ask them what is bothering them and/or look for signs of agitation: For kids who are able to communicate effectively, ask them their favorite and not so favorite parts of the day. For children who have a harder time with communication, be vigilant for signs of distress and have sensory sensitive strategies ready to help them unwind and regroup.
  5. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help: If your child is not acting like themselves and other issues are appearing that were not there, seek outside help from professionals who have a  love and respect for the exceptional community. Make sure they vibe with your child and your family.

Exceptional Parents, how do you maintain a good bond with your Exceptional Child? As long as whatever you do involves showing love, respect, positivity and hope in your child and their abilities, you and they are on the right path to continuing to have a close relationship with one another. Until next time.

Long Drives And Conversations-How I Learn About My Exceptional Tween

Michael has always been a talker and extremely social, with us and the world around him. Then puberty hit. He became social with peers and semi-social with us, but more often than not, I am noticing more retreating and heading to his room for private time alone with his videos or talking to friends. It is great when I have things to catch up on in the house, but I have had to get creative to find ways for us to bond and talk. We do eat meals together, but his appetite is not huge lately due to his medication so it is a quick deal. Other times he is either on the phone or on videos. How do I reach Michael? Well, interestingly, he gave me the opening. It is on long or longer drives around our neighborhood. Yes, as most of you know Michael loves to navigate on Google Maps and loves being in traffic. So you can guess that two of his favorite things to do are to go for drives in the car with ways he has mapped out, or to go for long walks with with me on busy boulevards where he has mapped out what streets he would like to take. Bike rides come in third. 🙂

As most parents will tell you, it is important for your child’s interests to become your own in order to continue to build a good rapport with them. If they see you loving what they love, they will continue to trust you and open up to you, even if you are no longer as cool as their friends. 😉 This has worked for me as Michael in many ways is the typical teenager, except with a dash of ADHD, anxiety, autism and blood sugar issues due to his diabetes that affect his moods one way or another. I have noticed on either walks or drives, he will talk about things that are important to him- friendships, crushes, puberty, anxieties about school or the upcoming summer vacation and we can talk about it together without it sounding like Mom grilling him again. He will also share with me his favorite music. When a song he likes comes on the radio he will tell me. We often have the same taste in music which has been a cool thing to talk about too.

With all the ups and downs he has with learning how to self-regulate, I can honestly say that our drives and walks though sometimes challenging for me when I am tired, have really cemented our mother/son relationship. I feel him opening up to me and sharing thoughts, and it is helping him to learn how to converse and handle emotions that come up. I also get a glimpse of the amazing kid I have, which I sometimes forget is there when he is having behaviors and well, rebelling against his parents as tweens do. Hey, I’m human too, and have my moments when I sigh and say, not another emotional crisis. It is important to truly be there for your child and see them in all their states and abilities. It is important to give them a chance to prove to you and themselves that they can overcome obstacles. And most importantly, it is important to encourage their passions-whatever it is.

Exceptional Parents, how do you continue to stay close to your Exceptional Children? Whatever their interests are, and of course it can be a bit of a challenge, try and immerse yourself in them. Show them you are fascinated by it. Ask questions. Stay close by if they want to talk about it. Eventually they will want to share and let you be a part of the whole experience. That is truly a priceless thing for a parent and child. Until next time.

Musical Michael-How My Exceptional Tween Regulates and Soothes with Music

As with any tween or teen, Michael loves to unwind and regulate by listening to music, all types of music, though his favorites are pop rock and hip hop. Seeing him listening to music on his portable radio with or without headphones and sometimes watching music videos, I am reminded of myself at that age. Even his rocking while listening to music reminds me a little of me. Ok, I didn’t rock the way he does as I don’t have autism and it was not in a stimming sort of way, but I see his love of the music, beat, and how it soothes and excites him at the same time. He does not look much different than any teen or tween when he is doing it.

The thing is getting him off the electronics is tough. As for any kid today, the allure of its immediacy is only too great. I am glad that though his tastes are changing vis a vis parks and going to stores, he at least will still do long walks with me and I am looking forward to doing bike rides together this summer when we have more time. Still, even with it being difficult to get him out of the house, I like the fact that he connects so easily to music. He reminds me of me when I was his age. “Michael, who sings that song?” “Michael, what is the title of that song?” And 99% of the time he knows the answer to both questions. He also likes to talk about what my favorite songs are. The other day in the car when a song came on we both liked he said, “Hey, that’s cool. We both like the same song.”

I truly believe, especially with the all the tumultuous emotions Michael is experiencing in puberty so far, that music and song lyrics are one of the things that are keeping him grounded. He also has something additional to discuss with me. As his tastes change and he moves away from the sporty young boy who wanted to kick the ball in the park with me, I can now have discussions about musical genres, directions, and other topics he likes to bring up when we are in the car together or on long walks. This is where I am still able to bond with him, to share and ask him what he is feeling, and to remind him he is loved, respected, and that I am there for him.

Exceptional Parents, has music helped build a bridge from your child to you when they were little or older? For many children, they sing before they talk, so music plays a very important role in communication. For others, parents and their child/dren can learn songs together, talk about different genres, and share how music helps them heal from trauma and stress. Whatever the way it is used, music can really help a child learn, regulate and find their way in the world with other people.  Try and see if this is something you and your child can bond over. Until next time.

 

How Bonding Changes As Your Exceptional Tween Grows Up

The other morning as Michael was talking with me about what he’d like to do this summer together, I had to smile. He has changed so much yet the important things are still remaining there. Michael is a kid who likes to go out places and experience things. When he was little it was playing in parks, then it became going to stores, now as a tween his love of navigating and exploring driving around new neighborhoods and places in our city has become what he wants to do most. He is not interested in playing games with me like when he was a child with figurines, and will only halfheartedly kick his soccer ball with me, but driving, wow, does he get excited when he talks about doing that. I was worried as Dad and I started losing our importance as fun beings to him and friends took precedence that the bond we had established would suffer too. There are things now he will say that I don’t want to tell you. But, he still shares most of his school day willingly when he comes home WITHOUT me having to drag it out of him. 🙂 Still, he will ask me if we can spend time driving together. This, I now realize, is Michael’s new way to bond with Dad and I.

He still enjoys bike rides and walks, long ones on busy streets, but the appeal of the car is that he has planned out the route in advance navigating on Google Maps and I’m sure feels in control and excited to see that he can find his way around. I, for my part, am happy that I still have a way to bond with and reach my exceptional son. Dad and I always leave the communication lines open and Michael knows he can tell us anything. I remind him of this, that there is nothing he cannot share with us. This has particularly come in handy when puberty hit and he will ask questions about sex and sexuality openly which is good. I am happy that we can both be passionate with him about his interest, even though he LOVES being stuck in traffic, and me, well, not so much. It’s really important for parents to keep the communication lines open so they know where their child’s interests are and see how they support that interest in order to continue the bond they have with their child. If you are not sure what your child is interested in, here are some things to keep in mind:

1) What videos do they like to watch

2) What music piques their interest

3) Are they art lovers or sports fanatics

4) Which friends are they hanging out with and what are their interests

4) What movies or books do they like

All of these things can help you see into your exceptional tween’s  (like any tween’s) mind a little more clearly, and help you bond more easily. In the end though, the most important thing is being physically present for them at predictable times of the day (meal time, bed time, morning), and ready and able to talk or listen to them. If kids sense that, they will open up and be more willing to bond, even children for whom it is more challenging. Until next time.

Mother’s Day And New Changes As Your Exceptional Child Grows

Yesterday was Mother’s Day, and it was quite a different experience celebrating it with an exceptional tween this year who is not afraid to share how he is growing up. Well, first of all he was a little embarrassed that he forgot his Mother’s Day card at school. Yep.  I told him the most important thing was remembering to wish me which when I gently prompted him Sunday morning with a shy smile, he did. Then he told me what he wrote in my card which made me almost laugh out loud though I restrained myself:

“I wrote in the card I like you very much Mom. Happy Mother’s Day! Thank you for taking me places.”

Then he drew pictures of his favorite video games all over the card. Yep. It was a hoot. When I saw it today and thanked him as the artwork is beautiful, he also did point out, “look I put pictures of beaches and spas for you too. ” Yes. He does care! Not that I doubted it for a minute. We spent a fun day going on a long mother/son walk, I took him to his swim lesson, to the park, and then we ordered in Indian food, the family favorite and a yearly Mother’s Day tradition. 🙂

See, it’s just hard to see sometimes as he is growing up and away from me. He is going through putting up a little wall right now too with what he is choosing to tell me and Dad. I understand this. All I can do on my part and Dad on his, is remind Michael daily that we love him, teach him to respect us as well as himself, and give him space to be himself, as well as know that we are there to catch him if he falls always. I had several happy moments as well this weekend when my child who does not want me hugging or kissing him came close to me and put his hands on my shoulder when he was talking to me asking me a question. It was a light touch. I leaned in and touched his shoulder and he relaxed a little against me. I know how healing physical touch is and how this used to help Michael handle so many stressful things when he was younger. I truly hope that when he is ready he knows he can ask for a hug, a kiss or anything of that sort to feel calmer and loved. He has not strayed that far away.

Exceptional Parents, how has celebrating Mother’s Day changed for you over the years? How do you mark it with your child? As your child grows up, you will see certain traditions change and some stay the same. Make sure to keep the ones that have meaning for your family, and don’t worry about the ones you can’t control. Your child is growing up, and as long as they know you are right beside them during that process, they will grow up happier, healthy and secure believing in their love for you as well as loving themselves. Until next time.