I am amazed at how fast Michael is growing up, yet also worried about the areas where he lags behind, particularly the areas of impulse control. I have have had many therapists tell me, he is so cognitively aware, so smart, but the impulse control issues you describe are hard to treat with medication and even therapy. They take time. I know. Boy do I know. I see my little man, now quickly growing into a young man, demonstrate this firsthand every day. I need you, no I don’t. Comfort me, get away from me. I want space, please protect me. To a certain extent, every parent goes through this at every age with their exceptional child. I can tell you though, that as the child gets closer to the teen years and develops awareness of sexuality, gender and all those adult feelings, it gets WAY more complex.
I am so proud of how much progress Michael has made in communicating, self-regulating, and understanding himself. I am proud of Dad and I and our progress in understanding him, and when in doubt, our ability to reach out to to other sources, especially other exceptional people, but even therapists who are more aware and respectful of different brains and ways of viewing the world. But it is not easy for him or us. We all struggle to understand one another, use strategies (yes, even neuro typical parents have to use them), to control anger, fear and stress, and then move forward with compassion and love for one another, particularly if it is hard to understand where the other person is coming from.
Our exceptional kids are amazing. They just have such a different way from seeing so much of the world and when we don’t see eye to eye, it can be so frustrating for them and us. This is when we need to remember to just be there for them- support them while they cry, scream, explode, or do whatever it is they need to do to clear the air. We need to make sure to direct them to a private safe place to do this and make sure they are not hurting themselves, others or property while de-escalating. With time, positive strategies and confidence, hopefully they will be able to learn to self-regulate in a healthy, controlled way.
Exceptional Parents, how do you help your Exceptional Children open up to you about their fears and challenges? As long as you show them you love them, are there to listen to them no matter what, and stay calm, they will continue to trust you and be able to come to you with their challenges and look to you to teach you to find the strategies they need to learn to handle their emotions. Until next time.