I have never enjoyed Mom nights out as much as I have in the last two years as things got more stressful at home. What, you say? Isn’t that when it’s the worst time to go out, when your Exceptional Child’s issues are wiping you out and you feel exhausted? Well, yes and no. Though there have been times I have backed out of Mom nights due to exhaustion or stress, most of the time, I see that the best therapy for me (and for Michael and Dad), is me going out, kicking back with the girls over a good meal, a good glass of wine, and a good conversation and just bearing my heart and soul. Or sometimes it has been about laughing and forgetting it all. Whatever has worked for me has usually worked when I have gone with what my heart needs me to feel and do. Solo nights out for me have been a must to survive some of the most stressful parts of exceptional parenting and married life as an exceptional parent and spouse. These have included my writers meetings a must to connect with other creative souls. Date nights with Dad have served another purpose to remember who we were before Michael added his own unique touch to our lives, but also took us so out of ourselves that Dad and I began forgetting what made us fall in love with one another in the first place and how we’ve changed all these years together. Nights out with my school friends, that also reminds me of a time when I was single, no partner or child, and keeps me centered in my roots. I miss that group of friends and am planning to try and see more of those wonderful ladies this year.
But my Mom friends, well, what can I say. They are my soul sisters. I have bared everything to them, and there is something about talking to a Mom like me, with challenges like me, who will not judge, will support, will laugh or rage with me, will encourage me to take the step I need for me or Michael, and will celebrate all the big and little moments that an Exceptional Child brings in only the way they can. Why? Because they are living it. Every. Single. Day. They know me in a way that no one else can or ever will, and for this, I believe that Mom dinners or outings of any kind, is part of a great string that keeps me together mentally, physically and spiritually.
Some women don’t like to go out or are tired or have other commitments. That’s fine. But I encourage you, no matter what form it takes, connect with other Moms. Do this either in person at support groups meetings, courses, online, and if you are lucky enough to form friendships with these wonderful ladies, take it to the next level. Many of the Moms who I have the privilege to meet for dinner or evenings out, once were Moms I only saw at daily support groups or at Michael’s schools. We exchanged information about therapists, education, medical issues and the ups and downs our children took us on in the course of exceptional parenting. Eventually something miraculous happened. The Moms who were my sources of information to help Michael succeed began to help me succeed not only as a parent, but as a human being. They became my sounding board when I was stressed as a parent, and my cheerleaders when things went well. I began to share other things with them, the fact that I am a writer, my new career direction, things in my family that were good and not so good. They helped me continue to grow as a woman and a human being. And now, I can truly count them as a close part of my team, team Joanne, as I call it. I believe every woman needs a team (your name) behind you., just as your child needs a team behind them. When you have this kind of support, you have your village, your village to help raise your child AND you to be the best you can be.
Exceptional Parents, how many of you have Exceptional Mom or Dad Nights or days, if that works better for you? Remember, you are a person that needs nurturing too. You need to fill your cup so you can give to your child what they sometimes don’t get from the world- acceptance, love, room to grow, and belief that they can do anything they set their mind too as people who love them are behind them. When you as a Mom have your team behind you, anything is possible. Imagine your child feeling this same way too. So here’s to our special Moms out there who laugh, cry and celebrate with us. It’s thanks to them we can get through the tough times and move forward with courage. Until next time.
Are you the parent of an Exceptional Child struggling with how best to handle challenging behavior? Are you worried about development, anxiety, or doubting your abilities to help your child become the best they can be? I can help you find your confidence as a parent again. For more information about my journey and coaching programs, check out my website: http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com. Let me help personalize tools that will help your Exceptional family thrive!