So the reward system we are using for Michael is really working well. He gets to earn “points” for different types of rewards which help him learn to listen better and control aggression. The points are determined by us after he picks the prize. He gets to choose the rewards, and as long as they are reasonable in nature and approved by us. For Michael good rewards are certain little toys he wants to earn, long drives (which he needs to earn more points for), restaurant outings and time spent playing video games. The control he has in choosing the rewards or prizes as well as seeing the results of good behavior (he gets a fun treat), have been working beautifully. When he does not cooperate or fulfill his listening and self-control components, he does not get the prize. This has also been teaching him how to behave better.
I have seen his behavior getting better due to this system, and most importantly, he has seen his behavior getting better. He will ask me from time to time, am I improving? Am I learning? He still does have moments where he makes poor choices and does not get his point, but more and more he is catching himself either right before making a poor choice or right after. And even if he loses his chance at the point, he is not losing the lesson. It is not easy and takes time to implement any kind of behavior system at home, but with time and patience parents can expect to see their child learning so much about their own behavior and the world around them. The other great thing is that parents themselves learn about their own behavior and what makes them tick. Don’t we all love to work for a fun reward or towards a goal? It is important to acknowledge that we too learn so much when our kids are learning. It works both ways and we can grow together.
Exceptional Parents, what does your Exceptional Child like to do for fun? What are their goals and dreams? By teaching them to self-regulate and practice self-control, you can also teach them how to dream and achieve goals that will bring them happiness and pride in themselves. Remember, while they are learning about this pride in themselves, you are learning to never stop believing in them either, as well as in yourself. We all can succeed when we put our minds to it. Until next time.
I am a writer, speaker and parent coach. I blog about how my exceptional son with Autism, ADHD, OCD and Type 1 Diabetes is raising me to a better human being and exceptional mom. My mission is to empower other exceptional parents to trust in their parenting instinct while letting their exceptional child open their eyes to all that is possible! For more information on my coaching services and to download a copy of my FREE EBOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” see my website, http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com