Ok. I lost it. I know. My kid has a hard time self-regulating and I need to remember that and always keep it together myself. But sometimes, I can’t. I have moments when I too am stressed. I am a parent of a child whose brain is off in so many different directions that I often feel like I am raising four different boys. I say four as he now has four official diagnoses: autism, ADHD, Type 1 Diabetes and OCD. They all affect the way he processes and takes in stimuli, positively and negatively. His brain is an incredible machine. I honestly look at this child and think, he is incredible, but sometimes hard for his neuro typical anxious Mom to be around. Yet I do have my wild side too. That creative wild side understands him like no one else does. The writer side of me that is fascinated by people and places and things that function outside of the norm. The organized side of me that wants to bring people together and make connections. The helper side of me that feels I have been given so much, I must give back. Pay it forward. That is so important to me and a lesson I have done my best to impart to Michael. Yet, as always, he has given me so much more. Even in the moments when I lose my parenting cool, I realize this child is here to teach me patience. When I feel angry that I can’t control or stop his impulse actions that cost him things I think, no, you are here to show him boundaries and a better way of being. When I am scared, I realize I am here to teach Michael you can be scared and pull through. You can use strategies, ask for help, never stop believing in the people around you, and you can move forward with purpose.
You see, Michael thinks I am showing him these things and in a way that’s true. My little guy is struggling with a lot. As his educator once said, “he is a lot of energy in one little body.” That is true. But with all the pain and hardship he has gone through and survived, he has thrived. With all the pain and hardship I have gone through as his mother, I have survived and thrived. Michael has continued to mold me, make me open to differences and different ways of being and thinking. He has shown me a whole other world that I never knew existed. The world of neurodiversity-people who see the world, our world that we take for granted, in a completely different way than the rest of us see it. It is not always easy. But it is worth it. All children, with their challenges and goodness are worth it. Parents of exceptional kids know our kids have their moments when the excel and fail. It’s important that we are there to praise and catch them when they fall. We must be strong. We must persevere. We must remind them that their brain and the way they view the world is necessary, vital, to share with the rest of us. We need to be enlightened. There are different ways of being and seeing the world. Special kids give society that. It’s important as parents we recognize where to support them and where they can support us to spread the message of hope that all kinds of brains and ways of being can and should make up the world we live in.
Exceptional Parents, how are you learning about your calm and transmitting that to your child? It’s SO hard as a parent to do that when you are tired and discouraged. That is why the first step is always to recharge yourself first. Do things that make you feel whole and positive. Only then will you be able to see your child’s gift, their talent, and what they bring to the world with the beauty of their existence. Until next time.
I am a writer, speaker and parent coach. I blog about how my exceptional son with autism, ADHD, OCD and Type 1 Diabetes is raising me to a better human being and exceptional mom. My mission is to empower other exceptional parents to trust in their parenting instinct while letting their exceptional child open their eyes to all that is possible! For more information on my coaching services and to download a copy of my FREE EBOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” see my website, http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com