It’s been hard watching Michael zigzag from anxiety to aggression lately. I know he is coming off of a medication that was helping control much of these emotions, even if it was making other things worse. But what has also been hard as well, is having to face my own anger and stress in the face of his anger and stress. I have learned that when I am under stress I either cry and retreat or get angry if I am not making myself consciously aware of how I am feeling and handling it in a positive manner. And then comes the guilt that I was not as strong as I could have been for my son. But am I really not strong?
What I’ve started realizing in the past week, is that once again Michael has made me realize what I need to fine tune in my life to be gentler and more patient with myself and others around me. Yes, there are days I fail at this, but there are more days I succeed. I also own up to myself and my family on the days I give in to anger or anxiety. I learn from them and move forward. If I am still stuck, I pray for guidance and I practice gratitude. I count my blessings. I meditate. I remember that tomorrow is another day. I also remember to check in on myself as I would with Michael- are you eating enough? are you sleeping enough? when was the last time you laughed? when was the last time you went out with a friend? Staying grounded in reality is very important, but finally, if you are someone that is losing your top too often with your child you need to ask yourself these questions and see what you could change to be in a more harmonious place:
- Did I count to 5 in my head before responding?
- Am I reliving some stress from my childhood experience that was traumatic or stressful?
- Am I sleeping enough?
- Am I exercising and meditating regularly?
- Am I alone for some time each day?
All of these questions help put perspective between us and our child, so that we can respond rationally and calmly. It’s important that we make sure that we take care of ourselves body, mind and soul as best as we can. it’s the only way we can be sure to be truly there for our child when they are in crisis. But don’t forget, if your child is going through a tough time, they will be unpredictable. This means that you as the parent will be facing unpredictable emotions. Be prepared for it. Pace yourself, and in time, you will figure out what it is you need to do to heal yourself. Then you’ll be able to heal your child as well.
Exceptional Parents, do your Exceptional Children trigger your anger and anxiety? If so, look deep inside yourself for what you need to heal. Don’t feel shame or guilt. Be gentle with yourself, and admit to your child that you too make mistakes and will learn from them too. Healing is about taking things one day at a time until you figure out what you can change to make things flow better. Your child will learn a lot by your example. Until next time.
I am a writer, speaker and parent coach. I blog about how my exceptional son with autism and type 1 diabetes is raising me to a better human being and exceptional mom. My mission is to empower other exceptional parents to trust in their parenting instinct while letting their exceptional child open their eyes to all that is possible! For more information on my coaching services and to download a copy of my FREE EBOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” see my website, http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com.