“Mommy, do you have any fears? What about Daddy?” This question came at bedtime on Sunday night, after a very long and challenging day of sensory struggles, anxiety and some aggression issues. Michael is starting to piece things together, but they are still hard days. Weekends are the toughest.
“Yes, honey of course I am. I am afraid of not being able to give you all you need, your health, mine and others in the family. But I do what I can to stay positive, put my faith in God to lead the way, and remember my strategies to help me.”
We then talked about what Dad was afraid of as well as other people in the family, that is, Michael named the fears. He knew and remembered and was sympathetic. Then he talked about his own fears.
“I’m afraid of watching videos that scare me and about someone breaking in the house and hurting me.”
“You close the video if it upsets you, and no one will come into this house and hurt you. You are safe honey. Daddy and I love you. God loves you.”
“I am safe Mommy.”
This is part of the problem lately. Michael has developed so many fears about safety, as well as other fears. But the fact that he was ready to talk about this so in-depth with me and share, made me happy, even if it was not at the best time of the day for me. See, at nine o’clock my day is winding down. I wanted to do the usual goodnight prayers and cuddles with Michael that we usually did, and go and have some much needed Mom time. This was especially true a few days ago, when we had spent the whole together for what I call “Mom Camp,” the week before Michael actually starts real camp. Yet I realized, this is what being a Mom is all about. It’s about seizing and taking the time in the moments your child opens up to you, to let them talk, share their fears, and reassure them that you are there.
We had another such moment at dinner the other night when we had to rush off somewhere after dinner. This was the night Michael decided to have a spiritual discussion about heaven and hell, literally. He asked me questions about what is heaven like? what is hell like? how do we know there is a heaven/hell? do we come back again after we die? Fascinating topics. I was blown away by how much he had been listening when I talked about spirituality in the past, and also quite shocked that he was that interested. Again, I was looking at the clock thinking, now, now you want to talk about this? But I said to myself, your kid needs to talk. You talk. You listen. It is so important we let our children know their concerns are important to us, and it is in these moments that the difficulties we face with them will be strengthened. We will see what an impact we can have as a caregiver and role model for them.
Exceptional Parents, how many times have your Exceptional Children shocked you with questions and statements when you least expected it? Have you worried that you were not up for the challenges, too tired, don’t have the answers. Remember, trust your heart. You have what your child needs, your love, your wisdom. And they will also reciprocate and mirror back to you their love and wisdom. It is in the moments we least expect to see miracles in our children that we often do. Until next time.
I am a writer, speaker and parent coach. I blog about how my exceptional son with autism and type 1 diabetes is raising me to a better human being and exceptional mom. My mission is to empower other exceptional parents to trust in their parenting instinct while letting their exceptional child open their eyes to all that is possible! For more information on my coaching services and to download a copy of my FREE EBOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” see my website, http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com.