Saturday was not a good afternoon for this Exceptional Mom. The morning had been a very rough one as a family, but then things turned around after Michael’s art class and other activities. The thing is, a little tiff with Dad ended up looking magnified to me. I had been doing something that Michael admits to doing. I had been pushing down my anger, fear, exhaustion and frustration at the tensions and fights between my boys, Michael’s personal anxiety and struggles, and my own guilt that I could not fix things. Yes, I know it is not my job to fix things. It is my job to point my child in the right direction. But like every good parent out there, I sometimes forget that I can’t make all the pain go away even when I want to. So I blew up. First I went outside on my patio and had a mini anxiety attack when the boys were out of the house, and then I realized, I could not go on pushing down all these feelings anymore.
When the boys came home after yet another fight, I’d had it. I blew up and said I needed them to move out or I would. I didn’t mean it. It was the heat of the moment, and I was just feeling so tired. After the tears had all come out and we all made up, I thought that was the end of it. We went to a friend’s party as planned and had a nice evening as a family.
The next day was Sunday. I woke up with a heavy stressed feeling, but got something surprising. I was up early as usual, and both Michael and Dad slept in. I had a whole 2 hours to myself before church. I left for church feeling happy I’d had some me time, but worried. I’d hoped everything was ok. Once there, being in that spiritual place worked its usual magic on me. I felt all the heaviness start to fade off, but as it did the sadness I was still carrying around became more pronounced. I needed to unload some more. After mass finished, I texted Dad and said I was going where I always have gone to heal-nature. I went to a beautiful park close by. After I shed some more tears, I felt finally calm and went and sat by the river letting it soothe and replenish my soul. How long had it been since I had taken time for me and admitted I was afraid and angry? A long time. When I felt ready, I did a long walk around the lake. I felt reborn after this experience. I realized that I needed to go back to doing simple self-care things like these to keep my soul strong and positive for me and my family. Simple things go far in a complicated family.
Exceptional Parents, what are some of your simple truths that you have forgotten to live in order to stay calm and in your truth? They are usually so easy to do, but we make excuses not to do them. Stop making excuses right now. It’s ok to be angry. It’s ok to be afraid. It’s ok to not always have the answers. Be patient and gentle with yourself. When you are, you will see many of the answers you are searching for right under your nose. You will also know you are not responsible for your family’s interactions. Take care of you. Live your truth and you will show them how to live theirs. Until next time.
I am a writer, speaker and parent coach. I blog about how my exceptional son with autism and type 1 diabetes is raising me to a better human being and exceptional mom. My mission is to empower other exceptional parents to trust in their parenting instinct while letting their exceptional child open their eyes to all that is possible! For more information on my coaching services and to download a copy of my FREE EBOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” see my website, http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com