Yesterday late afternoon/evening was one of those parenting times I wished I could have pressed rewind and started over. Michael got off the bus and greeted me with aggression from the get go as he did not like what I was saying. That was only part of it. He brought him all his anxiety, anger and stress from the day, as he is still learning how he needs to self-regulate and let his frustrations out positively. I also had a hectic day and was extremely tired and low on patience. We clashed big time. And not in a good way.
I also realized much much later that I was feeling sorry for myself big time. Dad has been having a hard time personally and has been tired from work, so I have been doing more around the house and with Michael. As I’ve mentioned before, Michael and Dad have been having some bonding issues too, and they have been clashing daily. So I blew up. Michael realized too late that he was wrong and did not do his strategies. He tried to apologize and tell me he wanted to talk, but once my anger was unleashed, I also could not self-regulate properly either. It was humbling. We had some good moments and ended the evening well with a positive goodnight, but most of the time I took personally all of Michael’s behaviors, minor and major last night, and felt alone, so alone. At one point I went outside to the car to have a good long cry. It was therapeutic, but made me realize where I had gone wrong. When was the last time I had exercised? When had I done yoga? Had I done any nature walks? No, no and no. Things needed to change or I was not going to survive the end of the school year.
I have been practicing some self-care with once a week bath and daily meditation, but I have not done other self-care routines that keep my calm demeanor in place. I realized with happiness that this weekend and next week I have several evening outings to look forward to where I will be catching up with other women. I also realized I needed to do another Hamamm soon, and make bath time more than a once a week occurrence. You see, all of these things are my armor against anxiety, stress and worry that I am doing all I can for my little boy. I know I am, but like most Moms, we always feel that we aren’t doing enough. As a result, we push ourselves to the point of exhaustion and then fall flat on our face. Filling out charts, talking to therapists, doctors, going over strategies and helping our children with social skills and homework and academics can be exhausting. If as parents, we don’t take care of themselves things will not go well for anybody.
Exceptional Parents, when have you been successful in helping your Exceptional Children? I’ll bet anything that it’s when you’ve been at your best; strong, confident, loving and positive. We all love our children, but the best way to love them, is to remember to love ourselves first. Only when we do that, can we help our children be loving and forgiving towards themselves. Until next time.
I am a writer, speaker and parent coach. I blog about how my exceptional son with autism and type 1 diabetes is raising me to a better human being and exceptional mom. My mission is to empower other exceptional parents to trust in their parenting instinct while letting their exceptional child open their eyes to all that is possible! For more information on my coaching services and to download a copy of my FREE EBOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” see my website, http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com.