After many bumps in the road (including the surprise one here and there), I have been hard at work on myself, learning to be, as Michael’s psychiatrist was telling Dad and me, a “Buddha Parent.” We even joked about it and I sent Dad a Buddha picture on his phone after a particularly challenging day. I needed to channel my Buddha Mom this morning. She was no where to be found after one of Michael’s diabetes pens would not go back together, Michael was upset at the change in the injection order, and then would not let me help him go faster to make the bus which was coming very soon. What happened? Well, we had to abandon the pen and he did an extra injection at school,( love his school), he missed the bus, and I had to hustle to drive him in and organize myself for the rest of the day. It was stressful to say the least. But then a surprising thing happened. After I calmed down, so did Michael. He apologized to me. The rest of the morning went well. I talked with Michael in the car about using strategies to stay calm, his deep breathing and his mantra which included a chant about his favorite video store. Mine, deep breathing and my mantra “the Universe is a trusting place.” This calms me down. Turns out I needed it again after a VERY challenging afternoon where Michael was aggressive, anxious and super hyper. I was not surprised to see high blood sugar at dinner and at bedtime.
But I revised the morning conversation. I reminded Michael that I knew things were challenging for him, but that he could always talk to us. I also reminded him he needed to do his calm breathing and say his mantra before reacting with aggression. It was important he try and that we were here to keep reminding him, just like his Educator, his psychiatrist, and the whole team at his school. He is lucky to have such a team behind him.
It also occurred to me that I am lucky too. With all the stress that Dad and I have, we also have an amazing team behind us. We are grateful for them everyday. We also have a community of exceptional parents behind us. I know I could share ANYTHING with these wonderful people and they would not bat an eye. This reminded me that what I needed to do was to channel my Buddha Mom. She is not perfect. She makes mistakes at time. She loses her cool. But she is forgiving. She learns from her parenting mistakes. She grows from them. And then she becomes calmer as a result. And she passes on that calm to help other parents become more Buddha-like in their parenting.
Exceptional Parents, how often do you channel your Buddha Mom/Dad? It is so hard for any parent, and especially hard for exceptional parents. But, it is possible with time and patience. The best way to become more patient with your child, is to have more patience with yourself. When you fail or make a mistake, don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember, you can learn from it and become stronger.
I am a writer, speaker and parent coach. I blog about how my exceptional son with autism and type 1 diabetes is raising me to a better human being and exceptional mom. My mission is to empower other exceptional parents to trust in their parenting instinct while letting their exceptional child open their eyes to all that is possible! For more information on my coaching services and to download a copy of my FREE EBOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” see my website, http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com.