The other day as I let out some more therapeutic tears, it occurred to me how though Michael’s new diagnosis has been hard on our family, it is also making Dad and I open up to one another and ourselves about our own personal fears. My two biggest fears prior to diabetes coming in our life, was having to raise a child with a physical health issue. I always marveled at my friends whose children were on medication and had physical as well as psychological challenges that required round the clock care. I often joked that I could never keep track on charts with numbers and hated the idea of giving needles or medication. I’m a writer and a words person, not a nurse. When Dad used to chart his food for the day when he was losing weight, I was amazed at how he had spreadsheets and logged it all. I’m so glad I don’t have to do that, I thought. Well, guess what Type 1 Diabetes requires daily of the individual affected and their caretakers. You got it. Spreadsheets to log carbohydrates and keep track of sugar, as well as many rounds of injections with needles to make sugar blood sugar is normal and that the insulin we are injecting is in doing its job. I almost laughed when I saw what would be required of Michael and me. See, he hates needles and numbers too. Yet both of us are becoming incredibly prolific with both. Michael is so brave with the injections, even when he is not comfortable doing injections, he has not refused to have them, and does it well. He is way better than I would have been with this diagnosis. He especially likes if his blood sugar is low at night. This means he has to have a little snack before we test the blood glucose number and give him his insulin so he gets to stay up later. He makes us laugh even though we worry about his body with each high and low, a normal thing at the beginning of diabetes from what I have been reading. It is the same thing with autism. All Exceptional parents know this.
I am incredibly overwhelmed with doctors’ appointments, diabetes and autism wise. We are working with an educator to help him with self-regulation and control, as now even more stress has entered his life and ours with the diabetes diagnosis. We are getting there though. All of us. I finally got back to self-care on Friday night. I want to my local Hamamm and then Saturday took a long, hot, bath complete with candles burning and soft meditation music playing. Sunday morning I awoke for the first time since August 30th, the day Michael was diagnosed. I have had many beautiful happy moments since then, of course. I love my job. I love writing. I have talked to many friends and of course family who have been nothing but supportive. But I felt like I was not really touching the ground. The last time I felt this was long ago when Michael was first diagnosed with autism. The shock takes a while to adjust to, even after you have accepted a diagnosis. For me, it has been like I am watching myself going through the motions of life. I also have not really been able to relax. Where this has been most visible was in my meditation and yoga. It helped a little bit with being present centered, but again I felt like I was watching me in a detached way, and not the way I wanted to be detached. I knew once I brought self-care regularly back into my life my soul would heal along with my body. Yesterday was the first complete day that I felt healed and ready to really resume and tackle all the stuff that goes with coming to terms with another diagnosis, while continuing to help Michael with his other challenges.
Exceptional Parents, what scares you about your child’s diagnosis and why? Do you feel you can’t or don’t want to do it? It’s perfectly normal. For the last few weeks even though I know I would never act on it, I’ve had a reoccurring fantasy of driving off to the airport with a one-way ticket somewhere. This is the normal reaction to a highly stressful situation in the beginning. As you develop good self-care and coping mechanisms though, (or put old ones back in place), you will be able to face your child’s (and your) challenges with calm, grace, and maybe even a laugh or two. I found myself laughing this weekend and making jokes for the first time in a month. That’s how I know I am doing better. Take care of yourself. Do little things to recharge your batteries. Then you’ll see that you’ll be better able to face the stresses ahead. Until next time.
I am a writer, speaker, parent coach whose son with autism and Type 1 Diabetes has shown me a whole new way to see the world and embrace the joy of the moment! I believe in empowering parents to trust their own instincts when it comes to their children, and in helping them parent with love, respect and confidence towards their child.
For more information on my coaching services, see my website: www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com, and for a free 30 minute exploration/consultation session contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Also to receive a copy of my FREE E-BOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” click on www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com/EBOOKS.