Genes And Environment- The Interesting Way Our Exceptional Child Is Us And Not Us

Lately I have really been watching Michael and  seeing how, like all children, he is really as much a product of his genes as of his environment. I see so many of my own qualities in him; his love of laughter, his creativity, as well his anxiety and the fact that he is hard on himself sometimes and does not like to ask for help. As I’ve blogged about before, these are less than desirable characteristics to lead a fulfilling life and have done a lot of work on myself to learn to be gentle and kind towards myself. I am now passing these traits on to Michael. It is not easy, especially as I know where he is coming from. I was there and living it until recently, and even now, well, let’s just say I know I will always have some anxiety in me. It is part of who I am and I am learning to co-exist with it and make it my friend. After all, when we are in touch with our anxiety we are close to what we need to spur us on to do better. It’s a cool way to grow and learn to do better. I am showing Michael how he can do that as well.

The other day when I was out with Michael at a park I observed him. He was talking a lot, having fun in the moment, and doing his best to try and perfect his soccer kick and tennis swing. I loved how he was in the moment and doing his best to improve his skill. I started talking to him about it, and digressed with one of my own stories. Michael’s response? “Mommy, you really talk a lot.” I almost laughed. It was not said as an insult. It was more of a comment and observation. I do, and it was a nice reminder that when I get overexcited or nervous I do tend to go on. Those who know me best, know this outright. I agreed with him and told him, it’s good to express ourselves, but that sometimes being quiet is good too. It was nice to get some life lessons in to him at the park that day. He reminded me of some of them too. How others see the truth in us as we do in them, and that no matter how much our children resemble us, they are also their own little people.

Exceptional Parents, in what way have you observed that your Exceptional Children are like you or someone in your family? In many cases, it is hard to know if it is genes or environment. Nevertheless, they can use it to grow themselves and to learn more about themselves. They are also not like you and are their own person as you are your own person. This is what makes us all unique and able to experience life in our own way. Children also can teach you how to adjust your parenting so that they can learn and grow in confidence and you can too as their parent. Until next time.

I am a writer, speaker and parent coach whose son with autism has shown me a whole new way to see the world and embrace the joy of the moment! I believe in empowering parents to trust their own instincts when it comes to their children, and in helping them parent with love, respect and confidence towards their child.

For more information on my coaching services, see my website:, and for a free 30 minute exploration/consultation session contact me at Also to receive a copy of my FREE E-BOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” click on

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