Anger. Aggression. Sadness. These are things that are in short supply in our house these days, thank goodness. It was a rough six months though when we juggled all of those things as a family. Things have been getting better at our home due to new home strategies we have put in. We have our evenings when Michael will still challenge, mainly with talking back and rudeness, but even they are rare, thank goodness. We respond calmly and with requests for apologies. Michael always complies. As parents, we all have our ups and downs with our own emotions, and we need to remember we need to solve our own personal issues in order to be calm in handling things with Michael. Interestingly, yesterday afternoon Michael shared with me how he misses his Dad and feels that when Dad is with him he is angry lately. This is not true, but lately, Dad has had a lot of work stress and coming home he sometimes still has residue of that stress. He is doing better at staying calm, and last night had a great time talking with Michael about feelings, listening and respect. I was happy to see them bonding positively.
We learned so much from the therapists that have worked with Michael. We have learned to say less and gesture more. Talking too much accelerates Michael’s anxiety. We have also learned how to keep things simple as far as expectations, schedules, and most important, in being consistent with how we talk to Michael and how we follow through. We have also learned that with expressive and receptive language issues, often allowing the child time to express themselves matters a lot. As well, parents have to remember that in some areas children are functioning at a much younger age developmentally. This means patience, taking things slowly, and not putting too many expectations on your child or yourself. It also means enjoying the moments they are cuddly, share their feelings with you, and learn from their mistakes. We are doing that with Michael and we are seeing the positive results from that.
Exceptional Parents, do you often think it is only you raising your child? They are also raising you, don’t forget. They are raising you to be more patient with them and more patient with yourself. They are raising you to learn to slow down and see things through their eyes. Finally, they are raising you to be more loving and accepting of their strengths and weaknesses as well as your own. Remember, language is more than just words. It is gestures, facial expressions, and the body language and emotions your child senses coming off of you. Just be yourself and let your child be themselves. Until next time.
I am a writer, speaker and parent coach whose son with autism has shown me a whole new way to see the world and embrace the joy of the moment! I believe in empowering parents to trust their own instincts when it comes to their children, and in helping them parent with love, respect and confidence towards their child.
For more information on my coaching services, see my website: www.creatingexceptionalparentingg.com, and for a free 30 minute exploration/consultation session contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Also to receive a copy of my FREE E-BOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” click on www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com/EBOOKS.