So I am a pack rat. There, I’ve said it. I have a hard time letting go of things, of people, of memories. Heck, the first time I had a massage and the massotherapist was massaging my arm she had to say several times, “Let your arm go. You need to let go.” Yes, there is that theme of letting go, releasing. I think it has been hard for me as I always felt that I was losing a part of myself when I let go. I felt that I was losing control, and control was and is something I am still working on learning to release. After all, many of life’s best experiences happen when we relinquish control for a bit, don’t they? We learn so much about ourselves and the world we live in. Even when de-cluttering and giving clothes and things away was hard for me, I still would feel a positive whoosh of release and energy when I cleaned, but it was emotional for me. I read lots of articles that talk about taking each thing you give away, remember a positive memory associated with it, smile, then put it away in the box and move it on out. This really works, and now it is how I clean.
Interestingly Michael is all about de-cluttering too and has been enjoying helping me de-clutter our yard and slowly slowly the rooms and drawers in our house where things have accumulated due to neglect and lack of time during the school year. It does not surprise me that he likes the feeling of de-cluttering but had his issues with holding on to the things, even carrying around a fidget too. He is anxious like me, and anxious people have a hard time letting go. It is part of our makeup. But heck, when we learn to tackle it, we do it with gusto. Another friend of mine who is into de-cluttering says that it changes the energy in a room when we clean it up and empty or remake it. It is true. Things start to happen in our life, positive things when we move old stuff out. It leaves room for new stuff.
Michale’s relationship and mine has undergone many changes in the past month. One is that with tighter boundaries he has felt safer. We have cleared up the clutter around the way I was parenitng him, holding on to the baby I thought he was and other times assuming he was much older developmentally than he was. Now, I see my child for who he is- smart, charming, young, gifted in certain areas, scared in others, and as one therapist told me, still a little boy in many ways. I am learning how to be his mother with my new found energy of removing the old that was not working and coming in with the new. It is going well. Mostly, de-cluttering has meant parenting changes that have had me shed what was not working and embracing some scary concepts for me. They are that I am really in control for better or worse, and when I lose control over my child, I need to stand back, be firm on the boundaries, and let him find his way back to himself and to me.
Exceptional Parents, are you looking into doing any de-cluttering this summer? If so, it’s great to narrow it down to one room, one small area at a time. If your home is de-cluttered, then what about looking at your emotional life? How are things inside you? It’s time to get rid of what is not working for you anymore, as scary as that is. It’s time to forgive yourself and move on. It’s time to show your child that they have times when they are in control and not, and that both are livable and ok. It’s time to take a deep breath, move forward with a light feeling inside that things will get better when we let go of the past. Happy de-cluttering in your exceptional family. Until next time.
I am a writer, speaker and parent coach whose son with autism has shown me a whole new way to see the world and embrace the joy of the moment! I believe in empowering parents to trust their own instincts when it comes to their children, and in helping them parent with love, respect and confidence towards their child.
For more information on my coaching services, see my website: www.creatingexceptionalparentingg.com, and for a free 30 minute exploration/consultation session contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Also to receive a copy of my FREE E-BOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” click on www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com/EBOOKS