Month: March 2017

More Bedtime Battles And What NOT To Do

Bedtime has been tough from the beginning this week. Michael is getting up earlier to get out of the house with his Dad due to me working earlier now, and it takes its toll at night. He both needs sleep and fights against it. Last night was the first night I wished I had thought of using melatonin again. I have used it a few times only when he is really off his schedule to reset him. By the time I thought of it though, it would have been too late anyway. He was wired. It was late and the stress was there. Stalling, insulting and deliberately misbehaving to lose his bedtime routine is what he does. Then, at the end of the routine he is crying that he is alone and I am not lying down with him, reading to him, or giving him his massage. He will not use pictos and when I gently remind him each night he has to go through his routine calmly in order to get the steps in his routine, he still misbehaves. It is discouraging and I feel bad for him making these choices and I remind him at the end of the night to make better choices tomorrow. We will be making some changes to his behavior program at home with his team, so that he can make learn to make better choices. He has said in anger and through crying that he cannot do it, but I remind him that he can. He just needs to calm down, look at his options, and go.

So what did I do last night that could have made things worse? Here are some things I have learned NOT to do:

  • Do not yell: This is hard one for parents. You are tired by the long drawn out bedtime routine. You are tired of the screaming, stalling and them yelling. You yell. You may say things and threaten to take things away. Not good. It just adds fuel to the fire. Give yourself a time out or, as Michael reminded me after we made up, “You needed to use your self-control too, Mommy.”
  • Do not talk about tomorrow and forecast: Yep. Guilty of this when I am losing control. I will say things like, “Tomorrow you will be tired. Tomorrow I’m going to tell your teacher. “It’s stress and anger talking. Don’t let them win.
  • Calm down ourselves: It’s important we calm down slowly too so we can handle what comes our way
  • Make sure from the beginning that rules are clear: I am looking for things I can improve upon in the bedtime routine so Michael is clear on what he can and cannot accept.
  • Ask for help from another adult if you can: If you find yourself burning out, ask another adult to take over bedtime for a few nights to get a break. If not, make sure to take care of yourself when they do go to bed.

Exceptional Parents, what are some of your tricks for bedtime battles? What has and has not worked for you and your child? In the end, just know that tomorrow is another day. Don’t be afraid to try new things and let your child know you love them no matter what. You will help them learn how to self-regulate and calm down, and that they have the power inside to help themselves. Until next time

How to Handle Spring Fever with Your Exceptional Chid

 

All kids handle Spring differently, and the weather changes differently. Yes, the weather affects out kids. I see it with Michael every year in March, even this year that it has been colder and we still have snow on the ground. I notice more silliness, tiredness, hyper spurts of energy in addition to what already causes him to have that. Finding a way to handle all that bottled energy is the challenge. Here are some things we have done in the past that have worked:

 

  • Set up a sensory corner in home: A mini trampoline, a swing, and a tunnel are great ways for kids to burn off that excess energy when they cannot go outside to play due to time or weather.
  • Have a big blanket ready for bundling, fort building: Having a blanket ready for the child to bundle themselves up and squeeze or use in a fort is also a good way for them to release physical and mental energy.
  • Have a few balls where kids can play and release energy: If you have a basement or big play area that is safe to bounce balls, you can have child ply there.
  • Talk to them about their feelings and come up with a plan: Talk to them about ideas of where they could play and how. If weather is nice, go to a park and let them try equipment as well as walking around and exploring.
  • Be prepared for mood swings: Aren’t we always? But in this case it is very important for a parent to prepare themselves for their kids being all over the place with mood, emotion, and activity level due to the weather.

 

Exceptional Parents, do you notice mood swings in your children at this time of year? With kids who have other issues it may mask itself in silliness, slowing down, or doing other types of behaviors. Be patient. Make sure they sleep as much as possible and have a plan and several backups to get it right. You will, as remember, you know your child best. Until next time.

Doctor Visits, More Exceptional Changes Ahead, and Love All Around

 

Michael had his ten year wellness visitits with his new pediatrician the other day. It went extremely well. Michael loved his old pediatrician, and was nervous understandably about having a new doctor. She was and is, however, in a word outstanding. First of all, she let him do the checkup standing up and moving around. She let him ask her all kinds of questions and answered them, and in five minutes flat gave me some wonderful autism social skills websites, told me about some interesting findings about autism that she learned from seminars and therapists, and let Michael take home a fidget toy for good listening. She also strongly suggested we have Michael evaluated for ADHD and Anxiety. She feels he has more ADHD Symptoms than Autism now and with the right controls and possibly medecinewe could help him futrther Everything inside me froze. I have been suspecting ADHD since he was a child along with Autism, and have had most professionals disagreeing that he has it. Some have said there is a possibility, but this is the first doctor who outright said she feels strongly that we should evaluate him. She was surprised y how quickly I agreed. I told her my own suspicions, and told her as well my dilemma with medication, but that we were willing to explore. She uttered that it is not something she recommends outright or feels is always necessary. It is necessary, however, to look at all avenues. She looked at me and said it’s important to prepare myself either way. It was sweet of her to be so kind and honest. I looked right back and told her that I knew there are co-morbid conditions with autism and am prepared to accept whatever else Michael has or develops. He is, and always will be, my child whom I love and will advocate for. I also told her, I take things one step at a time and I teach Michael to do the same.
Afterwards coming home Michael was very upset about the possibility he could have something else that may require him taking medication. He promised me solemnly he would listen to whatever I say so he would not need to take any medicine toolbox, and that the new people he would eventually meet would join “Team  Michael.” They would  be more key players to help him be his best self at home as well as at school. We had a calm discussion and a lovely afternoon and evening, but afterwards when Michael did fall asleep I found the shock of it all hitting me hard. You know as a parents your exceptional child will have many things to deal with as will you.

 

But the fact of starting over with a new condition and learning about it, though I do know quite a lot thanks to friends who have filled  me in, was disconcerting. I realized I was in a little bit of shock, like I had been with his Autism diagnosis even though I had seen that coming from a mile away. I would need time to wrap my head around learning about Michael’s other potential condition should he have it, and what to do to help him. Medication and the thought of it also terrifies me. I am having to deal with my own fears about making the right decision when one professional told me meds would be a disaster, another things it would be a great part of the toolbox, and a third is undecided. Where does that leave a parent? Basically with using her gut, and trusting in that feeling to do right by her child. The sheer weight of having your child’s life in your hands is daunting. When they are exceptional, you are even more scared to make the wrong choice. You know what I have come to learn, however? With love and trust in yourself, you will always make the right choice to help your child and family. That calm I showed Michael is there inside of me. It does not mean I am not scared, sad, worried about the future. But I trust in God, in the Universe, to give me the strength I need to help Michael go where he is supposed to go.

Exceptional Parents, what shocks have you received concerning your Exceptional Children and their mental and/or physical health? How did you put their fears to rest while doing the same for your own, if you managed to? It’s ok if you are angry, scared or worried. It’s ok to even show a little bit of that. Share it with a trusted adult who can help you work through your feelings and focus on taking things one step at a time. Let your child see you strong, focused and proud of them. They are little warriors no matter what, and remember how whatever they have or do not have, is just one small part of who they are.  They are in big part the wonderful child that has helped you see that potential lies deep in all children if we just give them the chance to show us. Until next time.

 

I am a writer, speaker, and parent coach. As the parent of an exceptional child who is raising me to lead a bigger life and purpose, I understand the challenges nonetheless of raising a child who truly thinks out side the  box and has difficulties at times with the way many others see the world. My passion is helping parents to handle the challenges of raising their children to be fully functioning in our world, as well as teaching them the miracles that their child truly is in spite of the difficulties. I truly believe in helping parents lead lives of hope, health, and balance for their own sake and that of their children’s and family’s. For more information on my coaching programs or to book a FREE 30 MINUTE EXPLORATION session with me, see my website: www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com.

It’s Spring. The weather is changing and sometimes exceptional children have a difficult time managing big emotions. Is your family struggling to handle emotional challenges? Maybe you need to tweak the way your family handle anxiety? If so, download my FREE EBOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com/EBOOKS

 

Staying Sane In Insane Times-This Exceptional Mom’s Guide To Finding Her Patience Again

I love Michael to pieces. I love his smile, his sense of humor. But then there are those days, those tough parenting days when you can’t wait for bedtime slightly after 6:15 am on a Saturday morning. Yes, you heard me. Michael was up at 6 am sharp fighting with his Dad. The two of them were letting me “sleep in”. I can tell you. I was not sleeping, but trying to hide in my bed. If there had been a way to get myself a cup of coffee and climb out the bedroom window into  the car to enjoy said cup of coffee I would have done it. Alas, I sucked it in after saying a quick prayer and emerged out of the bedroom to face the music. I managed to help Dad calm Michael down, but it was just one of those days that started out hard, and ended in difficulty too. No tears or crying on my part this time, just bone tired exhaustion. Michael was extremely overtired and that didn’t help. Sunday went a little better, but there was still so much testing, so much drama. What saved me both days was a bubble bath, some wine, reading a new fiction book and my freelance article writing. Having writing be a part of my life is so important now. It helps me connect to the artist in me.

But getting back to how I handled things with Michael. I felt both discouraged and stressed. Discouraged that I didn’t hold my patience as well as I would have liked to. There was lots of raised voices and lots of frustration alongside constant reminders about using calm corners, calm cards, strategies etc. This applied to me and Michael, and I think I rebounded well for both of us in the end, but there were some moments when I just felt so tired. What got me through is remembering I am not alone. I have support. I used humor too. And I started looking at different ways I have lost patience and gained it back. I thought that this was a useful thing for me to remember the next time I felt discouraged. What were some of the things I thought of that helped? Here they are:e

  1. Let it Out: As hard as it may be to lose it, sometimes doing a little bit of letting out frustration is good. It is healthy for our kids to see us process anger, and we will see hopefully that we are being a little silly over dramatizing something our kid did. If we start unraveling further, its time for an adult calm corner. DO NOT HESITATE to set this example to your child.
  2. See the Struggle-Not The Insults: This is hard. As an Exceptional Mom, when your child is insulting you, hitting you or doing anything  he/she can to push your buttons, you may have a hard time seeing their pain, but the pain is real. After a hard night with Michael yesterday, I said at the end, “I know you don’t want this. Why are you not letting me help you Michael?” He responded to my shock, “You want to help me? You can?” Gone was the cheeky rudeness to get his way. It put a new perspective on our fight.
  3. Reward Yourself With a Treat As You Would Your Child:Moms, you’ve had a hard day. It didn’t go as you planned. You feel discouraged, stressed, like a bad Mom. You are not. You did your best. Now it’s time to give yourself some self-care. Take a bath, watch a movie, read a book. Do what makes you feel whole. And forget the housework. Give yourself the night off.
  4. Remember To Choose Love Over Being Right:If you are trying to one your kid, neither of you wins. Also let your child know you are there to help them be successful.
  5. Mediate, Exercise, Pray or Do All Three; Get in touch spiritually with your inner self. You will handle everything better when you.

Exceptional Parents, how do you find patience when you’ve lost it? How do you figure out how to rebuild your calm after the storm so it is easier to show your child how to rebuild theirs? As with anything, you need to see what works for you, your child and your family. Generally though, eating, sleeping and exercising are great ways to sharpen one’s mind. Remembering things of the spirit; prayer, yoga, meditation are great ways to also get in touch with yourself. And when you are in touch with yourself and calm, you can better help your child find their patience and self-control when they have lost it.  Until next time.

I am a writer, speaker, and parent coach. As the parent of an exceptional child who is raising me to lead a bigger life and purpose, I understand the challenges nonetheless of raising a child who truly thinks out side the  box and has difficulties at times with the way many others see the world. My passion is helping parents to handle the challenges of raising their children to be fully functioning in our world, as well as teaching them the miracles that their child truly is in spite of the difficulties. I truly believe in helping parents lead lives of hope, health, and balance for their own sake and that of their children’s and family’s. For more information on my coaching programs or to book a FREE 30 MINUTE EXPLORATION session with me, see my website: www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com.

It’s Spring. The weather is changing and sometimes exceptional children have a difficult time managing big emotions. Is your family struggling to handle emotional challenges? Maybe you need to tweak the way your family handle anxiety? If so, download my FREE EBOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com/EBOOKS

DJ Michael Identifying Songs and Finding His Own Dooki Style

 

I have always been impressed with Michael’s musical talent. His singing voice as well as his memory for song lyrics have been in evidence since he was a baby. Lately though, he has been amazing me with more abilities. He has been listening intently to all kinds of music on the radio, and learning the names of all different artists and their musical style. His favorite music is pretty much hip hop, though he also likes dance music and anything R&B.  My Mom used to be amazed as a child when I knew all the names of different artists and genres, as well as song lyrics. Now it looks like Michael has inherited that particular skill from Mom. 🙂 I like how he is using music to regulate, calm and relate to the world. I also like how he is expanding in the way he is beginning to see the world, and people in it.

Yesterday was parent/teacher meetings at Michael’s school. As usual, it was a great success. What I was particularly proud of him for, was how he has matured since the beginning of his school year. I think in a big way listening to music and letting it communicate to him was a big part of this reason for his growing up. Dad and I told him as much about our pride. He is learning how to communicate, move and question different things happening in his life. Music shapes a lot of emotions and I know it is helping him shape his emotions better. And even when we have challenging nights both due to him holding in emotions all day and testing how far he can go with us, I know music and other ways to regulate will bring him back to us and himself.

Exceptional Parents, what helps bring your Exceptional Child to their next level of understanding and learning about themselves and the world around them? What gives them confidence in themselves so that they do their best? For some it is sports. For others it is art. For still others, it is science or another passion. Find your child’s passion and encourage them to go for what they love. They will have everything to gain for striving to do their best and knowing that you are in their corner.

My name is Joanne Giacomini. I am writer, speaker and parent coach  looking to help parents find their strength, love and balance in their own life so they can parent their child with autism with that same amazing energy. I offer one one coaching for individual sessions, six month coaching packages, as well as workshops and speaking engagements. In order to see what best suits each parent and family, I offer a free consultation/exploration session of 30 minutes where parents can see what would best suit their needs. For more information see my website: http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com. 

Finding the Balance of Meeting Your Own Needs and Your Exceptional Child’s

This is  a toughie. We all know as parents how important it is to take care of our children. In their childhood is when their perceptions of life, health and learning are found. They learn about their worth through us, their parents. So what we do and not do has a big impact. But what about us as parents? What if we can’t take care of our children? What if we are sick, physically or psyschologically? What if we need lots of time to heal. Well, the next thing we need to do is take care of ourselves so that we can be strong for our children. And if we have problems being strong for them, we find people who can be in our absence so they have a good example and we can heal.

Parents need to give themselves the right to heal or to have down time. It’s what makes things work well with their child. Over the years I’ve had my ups and downs as a parent and individual. Lately, what has been working for Michael and I is though is that I have been being clear when I need to work, when I am taking some me time, and when I am with him. He doesn’t always understand that I work at doing different things. He will say it is his time now and no one else’s. I don’t need to work. And then I do feel guillty as I mostly work from home so I am hone but not home. My home office works most of the time, but sometimes there are even issues with this when he is home. I have learned though to block off appropriate time with Michael, for work, and for me for down time, though that is in short supply these days. My key goal for April is to replenish my energy a little more. How do I do it? We plan out a schedule on paper and talk about this in advance if there are no or very little misunderstandings.

Exceptional parents, how do you balance meeting your own needs and your child’s? This is such a delicate thing, but so important . Our kids need us to be strong for them , for us , and for the family. We need to be honest with how we are affected by our emotions, take our kids to be responsible for theirs, and move forward together in confidence. Until next time.

All Exceptional Children Are Created Equal-Happy Down Syndrome Awareness Day!

I’ll never forget the day that my ultrasound results came back . The voice of the technician on the phone made my heart freeze. I needed to make an appointment to see my doctor. During the visit with my obstetrician she looked over the results with me. There was a possibility that my baby had Down Syndrome. It was something about his neck fold being a little on the thick side. I was in shock.  All I knew about Down Syndrome was the health risks and I became very afraid.

“You are not that far along if you want to consider termination.”

The words pierced my heart like no weapon ever could. My baby. My baby is who the doctor were talking about, and there was no way he was going anywhere until it was his time to come out of me. I instinctively wrapped my arms around my stomach. I somehow knew he was a he even then.

“No, I am keeping this baby no matter what. I am religious doctor, and God will guide me to give me the best tools to help my baby whatever he has. Is there anyway I could know for sure. I want to be prepared to help him in whatever way I can.”

She looked at me without hesitation: “Then we will talk no more of termination. Would you be interested in doing an amnio?”

I quickly responded with a no as I knew there was a risk for miscarriage. It had taken me almost two years for the miracle that would become Michael. I was not taking any chances.

“No, is there anything else? If not, I will start doing my own research and find out more about Down Syndrome.”

She quickly told me about a more detailed ultrasound that could be ordered that would give a probability of what issues my baby had or didn’t have. We did the detailed ultrasound which revealed my baby’s chances of having Down Syndrome were very small, but I have to tell you, Dad and I still read up on Down Syndrome. I had family and friends who told me the difficult side of what kids with Down Syndrome faced, but I also heard from friends who told my what a miracle these kids were. I then remembered a little baby boy on the swing in the park with his Mom tat I had seen way before I was even pregnant. He had Down Syndrome. He and his Mom were so happy. I couldn’t see their happiness truly that day. I only saw that I could not be that mother and how hard it must be to raise a child who was different. I was wrong. I now knew a mother’s love for her child ran deep, even before birth in many cases.  In the end, Dad and I did all we could to learn what we could as we wanted to be prepared to welcome our baby whoever he or she would be with all the support we could and then some.

Those who know my story know that my son Michael was not born with Down Syndrome at  all, but three and half years later would be diagnosed with autism. I have many friends whose exceptional children have Down Syndrome and all I could say is that similar to children with autism, they are amazing little human beings. They struggle, they persevere, they have victories, and difficulties and they are absolutely beautiful on the inside and outside. I have learned much about Down Syndrome and other Syndromes. Like children with autism, children with special needs who are exceptional teach us neuro typical adults far more than we could teach them.  I learned that day what kind of mother I would be. A mother who would fight for her child no matter what society would see him as. So today, I want to wish all my friends and their children  Happy World Down Syndrome Day. I will be wearing my different colored socks loud and proud today and remembering what a gift these children are to our world. Until next time.

How To Avoid Making Consequences Sound Like Threats-My Exceptional Parenting Dilemma

 

So I am moving into a new area with Michael. This area is one where he continues to push the envelope in seeing how far he can have freedom while professing his love for me even if he is being rude and disrespectful, and me trying to sound cool, calm, and not fazed by his obvious preteen angst to see how far he can go. This goes well some nights, and on other nights, not so well. You see, I am also trying to master the art of not only staying calm(which other than this hour change week I do pretty darn good, I must say, 🙂 ) , but I also want to stop threatening Michael with, “You don’t listen, and you won’t get so and so.” It’s getting tiring even to my ears, and though I know he is still learning about consequences and learning for the sake of learning, I still do want him to aim to do something not due to me threatening that he will lose something else, but because he sees the merit of doing it.

We are still using the token system, but rather than tell him each time he lost a chance or gained one, I just wait the day out and tell him how he has done. So far, it is going well. I don’t want threats to be part of our relationship, even if the end result is him listening. It is so hard when he does everything to push my buttons, but last night I looked at a particular challenging bedtime routine and asked myself- what is Michael trying to tell me? There was a mix of swearing, mocking me and other family members, ripping one of my possessions, imitating me counting down to him getting ready. It was one in a serious of annoying and frustrating experiences this week since the hour change, but for the first time in awhile I looked, really looked at what Michael was trying to accomplish. When he calmed down and apologized  to me, fixed what he broke, and got ready for bed and was having his glass of water, I asked him what was bothering him. He shared it with me and apologized again. He was sad when I told him there was no time for bedtime story, massage and me lying down with him due to his antics, but he understood. I was also glad that I had seen what was behind his behavior: ovvertiredness, fear of going to bed as he hates nighttime, and worry about the next day what he would be facing at school. The evening ended on a good note.

Exceptional Parents,  how do you stay calm with Your Exceptional Child and avoid making threats? How do you let what they say not phase you in order to teach them to remain calm and composed in the face of stress? This is not an easy feat, but one that is so important. When your child sees you love them no matter what, but they lose self-respect and your respect by acting out, they will start to learn to find other better ways to get your attention and regulate appropriately. Until next time.

 

I am a writer, speaker and parent coach whose son with autism is opening my eyes up to living life in a whole and balanced way. I am passionate about helping other parents of exceptional children thrive as individuals and in their relationships with their children. For more information on my coaching packages, or for a free 30 min consultation session, contact me at http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com

 

5 Ways To Avoid Mama Drama With Your Exceptional Child-What This Exceptional Mama Learned From Reacting Too Much

I am a good mother, really I am. I help others parents and children learn to be more patient with one each other as I know what happens when parents and kids don’t hear each other out. I pride myself on my self-control, and on what Michael, my son, has taught me about my self-control and what I needed to change in me to be a better parent. It is not easy being a parent, and being one to an Exceptional Child is extra hard at times. I have not felt it as this hard since the Christmas holidays as I have this last couple of days. I have not been taking the best care of myself. Busy with work, not exercising, and the hour change have affected my level of patience this week. Michael has also been busy at school, overtired and not been able to get outside to play. Fire and oil for the two of us. This has not been more evident as in the last two days where Michael has seemed to exist solely to stress me out with fighting and testing over everything, been disrespectful and pushing my buttons. And I, oh yes, the patient Mom who teaches other Moms how to ignore attention seeking behavior, not go down to the child’s level of yelling, failed this week. When I was reflecting how I lost control of my temper and got frustrated on 3 different occasions, I now have a list of what not to do to add to the mama drama with your exceptional child:

  1. Do not yell back. This is hard. The child yells at you and insults you. Anyone else and you retaliate back with screaming and insulting. With your child not a good idea as it just stokes the fire of their anger more. Anger is a way of getting a parent’s attention. Maybe they are feeling neglected, worried , stressed. A child that is not able to get their parent’s attention as easily doing positive things will react with aggression to get it. I yelled back and called Michael disrespectful. Afterwards, I realized if I had firmly and calmly told Michael we do not yell or insult, things would have defused sooner. I also thought to myself when was the last time I gave him positive attention. I will make a point to find him being good in the next few days.
  2. Child hits you- do not react with anger or repercussions just firmness and stepping away: When your child slaps or hits you, someone else or property, it is wrong and needs immediate consequences. You yelling and screaming at them is a natural frustrated response, but only gives them fuel to do more. It is better to try and remove them right away from the situation than try and reason with a child who is not reasonable at that moment.
  3. Do not cry in front of child if possible: This happened to me a few days ago. My anger was drained and I began to cry. Michael started to laugh and imitate the crying to get more of a rise out of me. Good I ignored him here, and soon enough he stopped. I learned to try not to react within earshot so he will do or say anything for attention.
  4. Do not ask them why they are doing what they are doing: I was so angry that I started trying to figure out why was he fighting me on going to swim class, coming in from the outside, I said things like “what’s wrong with you?” “why are you acting like this?” This is not the time for a heart to heart. An exceptional child who has lost control needs a firm, calm parent to keep things simple y telling them exactly what they need to do. “If you choose not to listen we go home.” NOT “I can’t believe you are doing this to me again…” I know. It’s easier said than done with any child when we are upset and they are pushing our buttons, but mandatory we stay strong, give simple statements and move forward from there or else no one wins.
  5. Do not overload them with what they are losing, show them what they are winning by listening: We have a token system where Michael gains rewards when he listens. I regret that I kept firing off each time he lost a token when he was deliberately being rude. It became a contest, who could misbehave quickest or take away a token quickest. In the end neither of us won. It’s not a contest. As a parent you want your child to learn to show love, respect and make good choices. You reward the positive, look for the positive, and remind the child that they could always start again.

Exceptional Parents, after a parenting fail or fails, what is your takeaway? How do you learn to parent better? That is what turning it around is all about. We all make mistakes. Our children teach us as much as we teach them. If we look behind their behaviors to see what they could be telling us, it will be easier for us to adjust our own emotions as parents and role models to help them achieve maturity and respect.  We all can start fresh and turn it around, kids and parents alike. If we realize that, we can learn from our mistakes and get stronger. Until next time.

I am a writer, speaker and parent coach whose son with autism is opening my eyes up to living life in a whole and balanced way. I am passionate about helping other parents of exceptional children thrive as individuals and in their relationships with their children. For more information on my coaching packages, or for a free 30 min consultation session, contact me at http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com

 

How To Change Negative Forecasting With Positive Thoughts-Challenges for Exceptional Parents

Ah yes. When our child is feeling negative and worried, they tend to have negative thoughts about the present and the future. These thoughts would be along the lines of things not working out, such as things at school, with friends, with family etc. I have these kinds of situations with Michael, especially during times of transition like Spring Break to home and back again, or else summer vacation and back again etc. It is hard to keep my own attitude positive sometimes when Michael is so worried about things and will stress, worry and whine. But, I am beginning to see how important it is to do this. You see, when a parent is able to “turn it around” and be positive in spite of a negative day, hour or week, it will make all the difference in what you are trying to teach your child to do, which is be positive, overcome obstacles, and make the best of a situation.

Michael and I have had a tough week so far. With the hour change, I expected as much. I knew he would have a hard time as well as me. But, what I did not consider was how hard it would be for both of us to control our emotions. There were times in the last two days that I was as frustrated as Michael which made the stressful moments worse. So, what did I learn? I learned to try and take some time to step away from the stress and de-stress while modeling positive relaxation techniques to Michael. I also learned to admit when I was feeling tired, fed up, and needed down time so I would set a good example for my child. Finally, I learned that automatically assuming things would not work out for the day, evening or day and evening is not a good strategy for either parent or child. As the adult, we need to show the child to believe in themselves and how they could turn around their bad behavior so that things could start going well.

Exceptional Parents, how many times have you had moments when you  said to yourself, my child is not doing well today and it is a write off? How many times have you gotten angry because of this and told your child negative things? We all have bad moments. Don’t ever write anyone of, yourself or your child. Learn from your mistakes, and have the courage to move forward. Until next time.

I am a writer, speaker and parent coach whose son with autism is opening my eyes up to living life in a whole and balanced way. I am passionate about helping other parents of exceptional children thrive as individuals and in their relationships with their children. For more information on my coaching packages, or for a free 30 min consultation session, contact me at http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com