Today Michael was home on a PED DAY. As usual I made sure to structure it with him so that he would know what to expect. He is getting better with leaving some unstructured time, but I find for both of us, particularly as I work at home, that we need on again, off again time where he is alone, I am with him, and then I am alone working. He knows Mom gets up early to work. Mom works while she is not with him. And Mom works at night. I remind him that having your own business and working from home means that and also that this way I am flexible to be there for him too. There is a lot of juggling, but both of us are getting the hang of it.
What I have been finding more and more lately is how when I am calm about anything it registers on a deeper level in Michael. Obviously, he is surface calm too seeing me laughing and we make jokes together. This morning we even had some affectionate moments when he was hugging and kissing me. These don’t happen that often anymore as he is getting older and starting to push away. I treasure them when I have them. He senses how happy I am to be with him and how calm. He picks up on my vibes. Likewise, the other day I was a little stressed and he picked up on that too. The challenging behaviors started coming out. It’s tough. As parents, we try to hold it together, but sometimes we just collapse and yell, swear (guilty of that one recently) and feel like we have failed. But we haven’t. We have simply seen what is not working and observed the difference in our child.
Michael asks lots of questions. He is curious about everything and everyone. I both love it and sometimes am exasperated by it. Still, I realize this is the only way to learn. By asking. By trying. By being. Isn’t that when I started making headway in my life? Yes, it was when I stopped being afraid to ask questions. When I stopped being afraid to try and conquer my anxiety and my fear. That is when I was reborn and now, hopefully, after a challenging December can start imparting that peace to Michael and others in my family.
Exceptional Parents, when you stop and are calm no matter what, how does this affect your Exceptional Child? Watch them next time; their face, their mannerisms, their voice, their body language. Don’t be afraid to just be with them no matter what else is happening. You are their most important connection even when they are angry at you. Show them how much they are loved by keeping calm body, mind and soul. Until next time.
Are you looking to make changes in your special needs parenting life? Do you need support on your journey? I am a writer and parent coach who is passionate about empowering parents to trust their own instinct when raising their exceptional children with autism, and remembering that parenthood is as much a journey for us as childhood is for our children. For more information on my parent coaching programs, and to book a FREE 30 Minute Consultation Session, see my website: http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com.
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