There are times in my life when I have read books that I liked, but did not resonate one hundred percent with my parenting philosophy. And then, there have been times when I read a book that is so on the mark to what I am going through as a Mom, even though my child has autism and is older, that I am happy to spread the word about it. “Tears Heal-How to Listen to Our Children” by Kate Orson is just such a book. From the beginning, I was captivated by the “Hand in Hand Parenting” philosophy that basically talks about letting our children feel their feelings, and being there for them in all the emotions that come up. This is certainly not an easy thing to do for any parent, which is why it is so important for parents to have time to talk about their past and present feelings, in order to come to terms with where they are in their parenting journey.
Kate Orson talks about parents having “listening partners” for just this reason, to help them parent better by not having their own feelings get in the way. The book touches on everything from separation anxiety, to sleep problems, to tantrums and meltdowns, and how “Hand in Hand Parenting” believes in addressing these issues differently than many traditional methods. Though Michael is almost ten, developmentally there are times I have seen him going through some of the “toddler phases.” I have tried certain of the suggestions when he is crying with not getting his way, and the results were amazing. After letting out his emotions, he was calm and ready to bond again. I also tried a technique that is mentioned when children do bedtime stalling . I adapted slightly for an older child, but was amazed with his cooperation, calmness, and how quickly he went to bed.
The Hand in Hand Parenting philosophy is explained in a simple and easy to understand way, and examples are given. As well, at the end of each chapter, are short exercises that parents are encouraged to do to apply what they have learned about having a more positive parenting outlook. The first part of the book covers various childhood issues and how to tackle them in a loving and fun way by just being more mindful and present focused. The last few chapters touch on another topic very close to my heart which is self-care, and taking care of your marriage or relationship so as to be at your best for your child.
Exceptional Parents, if you are looking for a book to help you on your parenting journey, this is a great one to put on your list. Remember, we all know the challenges of raising our children means we need to remain as calm, focused and playful in thought as possible. It is only by thinking outside of the box when it comes to a lot of traditional methods, that we could reach our child the best way possible. As always, trust your own parenting gut first with any resource or tool. Until next time.
I was not financially compensated for writing this post. I did receive a free copy of “Tears Heal-How to listen to our children.” All opinions are strictly my own.
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