Puberty and Holding Back The Exceptional Way- Why This Mom Is Choosing Not To Worry

There have been a lot of inconsistencies with Michael lately, but I think a dear friend of mine was right when she speculated my nine and a half year old son may be going through puberty or at least the beginnings of it. Why do I suspect this? He is seeking me out on his terms for hugs and time and talking, but is holding back in other ways. It’s hard to tell though, as Dad and I are also having trouble with him listening and testing limits more at home. He is sensing our very different parenting styles, which we have to be careful of. Dad and I are realizing that it’s alright to parent a little differently, as long as  your child knows that both parents have the same rules. His school team has been very helpful in making some suggestions to us along these same lines, and we may consult further professionals for tips in supporting Michael and ourselves as best as possible.

I have also become concerned that he is not telling me what is happening at school or revealing only a little.  This has been hard to get used to, but started only about a week or two ago. I’m not sure what has changed. Perhaps he resents all of us talking about him and thinking we are up against him. I disclose to him that I am talking to the staff at his school in order to help him and us learn techniques to better listen and get along with one another. Maybe he wants his space. When he gets aggressive and challenging, it is so hard to be truly present and patient, but I am learning. I have learned much in the last few years about parenting with patience, and acknowledging where I need work or improvement. Don’t we all, neuro typical or exceptional. We all have things to improve upon.  Michael shows me daily how to be more patient and understanding towards him and myself.

Exceptional Parents, how do you treat changes in your Exceptional Children? Do you worry or embrace them, or do a mixture of both? It’s important to not let worry  overcome your better judgement, but at the same time have your detective hat on and follow any trail that seems suspicious. Remember, most of the time, it is just your child entering a new stage of development. Testing, challenging, retreating, coming back. Your child will do all these things. It’s important as their parent to stay close by, and let them know you care and are there to listen and support them always. Until next time.


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