Michael never ceases to amaze me. He will freak out over things like taking a certain street he doesn’t like, or if I don’t let him choose his snacks. Understandably, he wants control, but sometimes he is really upset over this. His bus coming late this morning and bringing him home super late? For that, he was only mildly perturbed you could say. What set him off? When I told him we wouldn’t have time to go to the park due to the late hour. But after giving him his space and taking mine, he recovered quickly. I am truly amazed at what he is able to start handling, and even when he does get upset, like insulting me or overturning furniture he will look at me or Dad as if to say, “what are you going to do about it?” Instead, we calmly explain, “we don’t hit, scream, insult or throw things when we get upset. Neither do you. Use your strategies.”
The first day of school is always a little bit of a whirlwind what with the bus routes changing and the drivers having to learn a new way to go. Then, there is the fact that we had work being done by the city on our own street yesterday which further complicated matters. Well, that’s life right. I thought how ironic, that it is all happening at once but sometimes that’s how it goes and you have to learn to go with the flow. You have to make the best of it. I tell Michael this all the time. Now I am living it, or doing my best to when I briefly forget my words. Explaining all these changes to Michael was not easy, but he surprised me. He handled it, asked some questions, and then we went with our evening, I went from being a ” bad mother who I won’t hug” due to no park when he got home, to at bedtime, “the best mother I could ever have.”
Seeing how I handled the unpredictability yesterday too made me feel pretty proud of me. I had come very far from the anxious type A woman I have been for most of my life. I used to also try and control things, or at the very least, worry compulsively about them. That was my way of trying to feel more powerful in my life where I had felt so powerless in many ways. That changed when I saw how I could have power, peace and control if I learned how to let go. I do this by meditating and living in the moment. Sometimes I stumble, I fall and I get back up. This is the lesson I want Michael to learn. It is important I practice it myself.
Exceptional Parents, how does stress impact your Exceptional Child? What lessons have you learned from teaching your child to handle stress? Don’t worry if there are times you have not set the best example. Apologize to your child, and talk to them about both of you using your strategies to calm down and move on better the next time. We are all human and need to learn from one another. Until next time.
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