What Do You Need And Can You Give It To Yourself?


I have been on a roller coaster lately. And one thing about a roller coaster that we all know. It’s great going up, but coming down is hard. The fear and terror and stress of wondering if you will be ok. Well, like on a roller coaster you do come out fine, but there’s some worry in the meantime. I made sure to be organized with meditation and yoga, and even squeezed in some short workouts along the way, but even with that I came spectacularly down. I was so tired. I’d been burning the midnight oil. It was  with pleasure mind you, but still burning it, for things that fill me with passion and were high priorities for me, Michael of course, my writing, attending a local author’s event. I needed to detach from everything and everyone. I got my chance on Sunday afternoon for a few hours, and in doing so, I learned a lot about me.

I learned how even with daily meditation and other life balancing acts without being totally honest with myself when the stress built up, I would just be the yelling lady that my family saw over the weekend. I did some necessary housework, some yard work, and then about five minutes into another workout, I realized I needed to rest, rest my brain, rest my body, just for a bit. So I lay down for half an hour. This is a luxury I rarely allow myself. Lie down in the day time when there are things to do? Can I hear an amen Moms and Dads? But I needed it. And I emerged calmer. I did some reading too with a nice cup of tea. A therapist I worked with many years ago told me some wise words that I remembered yesterday, “What do you need and can you give it to yourself?” They were simple words and yet not always the case. Sometimes we could not give ourselves things right off the bat, but I believe we could look for opportunities when we could do this. I needed to unplug, relax and just be for an hour.


Michael saw the shift in me too in the morning yet. He saw I didn’t have the patience I normally did. He pointed this out and filled with his own anxiety about school  worries (found out after), had a meltdown. I told him he needed to use his strategies to calm down. I realized only after that neither of us were using our strategies very well. We both crashed on Sunday, but as always, emerged stronger. I hope to continue to encourage Michael to look for signs in his body he needs to stop and slow down. Ironically, he was the one telling me I was off this weekend, and as always, he was right.

Exceptional Parents, how many times have you or your child crashed from a high? It’s ok. We’ve all been there and done that. What have you learned from those experiences? What is important is that you take away from it how to be gentler with yourself and stronger as a person and you teach your Exceptional Child the same. Use your “calming down strategies” by figuring out what your body needs to feel whole and relaxed again. Journal your feelings, even a few words a day and you will see the path you need to take towards feeling calm and centered in your body and soul again. Until next time.


2 thoughts on “What Do You Need And Can You Give It To Yourself?

  1. Oh yes, I know that crash (and burn- I like to call it!) well. I love that you listened to your body and honored it. I have been really working hard on taking care of my needs- I think it gets easier and we become more aware of our needs and being more intentional about taking care of ourselves the older we get. I would PUSH. MY. SELF. back in my 20’s and 30’s. I’m nearing 50 now, and I am much more willing to honor my needs more.

    Liked by 1 person

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