Remembering Collecting and Hugs-Neufeld and Exceptional Love

I have blogged before about Gordon Neufeld and his amazing work about “collecting” your children, and about how parents and adult role models are important in your child’s life. Children, especially as they become older and begin to identify more with peers, need their parents close by to talk to, relate to, learn from. Hormones, childhood anxiety and all the rest will affect them, on and off the spectrum. When parents are there to hug, hold their hands, but most importantly, hear them, that is what counts the most.

Michael had a challenging week last week, as I alluded to in a previous blog. Lots of new stuff was going on, rehearsing for his Spring Concert, bad weather where he couldn’t play outside, and stress about what he couldn’t control, anxiety about his nighttime fears, his worries about his new Gym and Swim session and who his instructor would be, and Mommy, me, doing her best to be there, but being very busy with work. I had quite the week, and though I was there to listen to him, play with him and talk, it was not enough. I was not hugging him enough, laughing and playing with him as I was distracted, not a crime, but a reality in being a mother,worker and having things like housekeeping and cooking duties to do besides. Dad was in the same boat. I saw a HUGE difference towards the end of the week when I was able to take Michael to the park and watch him play on the park grounds. The exercise calmed his brain, then he was able to open up even more to me. I took the time and effort to talk and hug him, and really connect with him. I began to realize what he, and I, were missing .Our contact with each other.

Exceptional Parents, when was the last time you “collected your children?” When was the last time you were really there, present for them, in body and mind? It’s hard when you are busy as are your kids. But regardless, you need to find little ways to connect with them, whether it be little hugs or cuddling, reading or laughing together or just talking withour audio visual on and nearby (guilty as charged). Small steps to building a strong parent/child bond. Until next time.


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