Yesterday morning as the bus pulled away from the curb I let out a sigh. It had been a relatively calm and uneventful morning with Michael, but I was still VERY looking forward to my meditation. On a good and organized morning, I get up early at 6:00 am way before I need to be up for him, so I can meditate and do my yoga stretches when the house is quiet. It’s hard. I am NOT a morning person, though I find as I get older my energy is better in the morning than after 3:00 pm even if I could do work. 🙂 But yesterday I just could not get up earlier than 7:00 am. Michael got up with me, his father was on his way out the door, and so I did not get a chance to do my morning routine of stillness until after they had both gone to work and school.
I do my meditations with the help of a great teacher online. A good Mom friend told me about this psychologist and now Buddhist trained teacher, Tara Brach, who has guided meditations that newbies like me can follow. She updates them regularly and they range from 10-30 minutes on http://www.tarabrach.com. The one I found over the weekend and was drawn to is called “The Rain Of Self-Compassion.” It is all about getting down to that place where we are hard on ourselves as people, where we are at war, sitting with it, and moving past it to peace. Boy, did it need it these days. I am making peace with those parts of myself that are at war, namely those parts that say I could be doing better at my writing and speaking business, and at being a more patient and calmer “exceptional” Mom to Michael. I have found myself healing from this meditation in the same way her “LovingKindness” meditation helped me heal. It’s all about loving the self, being good to ourselves and sharing that love and peace with the world.
I am trying to get Michael interested in meditation. Not surprisingly, there is no interest yet, other than when he has stumbled upon me doing it and asked me “Mommy, what is she saying?” Still, I have hope. He likes yoga, he is slowly learning to deep breath to calm himself when angry, even if not consistently, and I hope that when he sees his calmer, more patient mother, he will gravitate towards what is making me calmer these days. Self-care parents. That’s what it comes down to. I have started a regular exercise routine too, doing Zumba, dancing and aerobics. For me, music ties in to my spirit just like stillness and being in the moment do. I find myself finding strategies for my business, for my child, for my life, that I could not see before. I was too caught up in the rat race of life, not living in the moment, not being compassionate to my soul. We are all guilty of this from time to time. It’s important, whether we formally meditate, or simply make meditation or yoga stretches part of our every day life as we chug along, that we stay in the present.
Exceptional Parents, what methods do you use to stay present and compassionate towards yourselves and your children? If the answer is no methods, it’s time to start implementing them now before you lose your cool over behaviors and life stresses. Sleep, a fitness regime, and being good and kind to yourself is what will help you in the parenting marathon of being an Exceptional Parent, and raising your Exceptional Child to do amazing things in the world. Until next time.