So we are back to doing catechism homework and will be trying church as a family once again this Sunday. Michael is still very confused about spirituality. He made me laugh last week though, even though another part of me was crying on the inside. He had a question in his catechism homework about what he would ask God to do if he could speak to Him directly? His response was as follows:
“God, why can’t you hold my hand like Mommy does when we walk to my favorite shopping center?”
That was the question we wrote in his book. I didn’t laugh though it was funny, but felt sad as he then added, “It’s hard to feel God in my heart.” I’m beginning to understand what a therapist once warned me about. She told me to be careful of introducing spirituality to a mind that is very concrete and literal. I could end up creating more anxiety. I don’t know. There have been times in the last few months I have questioned my logic in raising Michael religiously, but we can’t go back, nor do I want to. And apparently neither does he. My little guy is trying to make sense in his own way of God, and I will be here to help him in whatever way I can. We are reminding him that going to church is an important step if he wants to continue with catechism and doing his Confirmation in two years. He is not forced, but there are rules to follow if he wants to be a part of this community. There are days he will yell, say controversial things to get a rise out of me, but then he starts and ends the day praying. Sigh. I have decided, like with everything else we are changing up in our household, that the best thing to do is take it day by day, explain the way things work as concretely as I can, and let Michael decide.
Then there is his argument about homework and hating it, while professing how he plans to be a neurologist like his uncle:
“I want to help people like he does. I want to help people like me.”
I don’t know if he fully grasps the autism label or what all his challenges are. Still I had tears in my eyes and hope that he will get there, doctor or no doctor, but he would get there and fix what he can’t understand now.
So Exceptional Parents, what questions, spiritual or not, are your Exceptional Children grappling with? What about you? How do you let them handle or deal with it? I’d love to hear from you! Until next time.