I’ve been feeling melancholy lately. The short days, the cloudy dull weather. And I’m so far from ready for the holidays. I put on a Christmas CD this weekend while I baked, but it didn’t do the trick. I was feeling sad, lonely, disconnected. Michael has been a handful too. He has been clingy, difficult, moving too fast when I don’t want him to, and too slow when I need him to move. I started thinking to myself that to trigger those holiday feelings I wish it would snow. Not the big storm type of snow, but soft while snowflakes, pretty without too much accumulation to make it look like a Christmas postcard outside. And that was when I saw it through my backyard window while washing dishes. I saw the usual neighbor’s home across the fence all lit up with beautiful outdoor lights, and big lit up Christmas wreath. It was breathtakingly beautiful, and suddenly, I didn’t feel as alone anymore. I didn’t feel so disconnected. I remembered though December is the month where it is darkest, there will be lots of lights shining with holiday decorating, parties, family, friends. I just have to rest, take care of myself, and get there intact.
I was telling Michael this same thing the other day when he was telling me he hated the darkness and wanted snow and winter to come.
“I know this is a hard time of year honey, but remember what comes in December, Christmas decorating, Christmas, seeing family, your birthday.”
“Yes, Mommy. I love all of those things.”
“And only three more weeks of school until you’re home.”
That cheered Michael up fast, and even for me, though there is stress when he is home those weeks, we also have good times, many good times.
And all I have to do is remember the light of the holidays, of family and friends waiting to celebrate, laugh and enjoy each others’ company. And even those people I don’t know and will probably never meet, like those neighbors that I see through my backyard window. Their early Christmas lights fill me with joy every year and remind me that none of us is ever truly alone. There is a light shining somewhere to guide us all, child, adult alike.
What image of light do you keep in mind at this time of year with the upcoming holidays, Exceptional Parents? How do you show your child that light? However, you and your child hold on to it, remember. We are all the light for each other, and never lose hope that things will be bright even in the darkest of December afternoons. Until next time.