Michael is having a harder than normal time adjusting to school this year. The good news is he’s able to tell me why, the bad news is that it’s nothing I can change for him. If anything, what he’s worried about will only get worse with time. How do I know this? Because if you flash back thirty some odd years, much of what he is feeling, I was feeling back in elementary school. I was bored and frustrated so I daydreamed. Michael does not like to work. He does not like learning to read and do math, though he is smart and will learn and apply himself when he feels confident. It’s the fact that playing is more attractive, and I think he is bored. I’ve written an email to the teacher asking if she could send work home, and I am planning to talk to support staff about aids in the classroom. It’s tough, and we went around in circles last night fighting about him going to school tomorrow. I was so wiped out by the end of the day deflecting all the tantrums. He apologized and I apologized for not seeing through the misbehavior. We went over how to handle anger with this neat set of anxiety tips I found as well as the usual tips we use as a family, and I started the bedtime routine VERY early as he was tired. I feel so frustrated for him. Everything is harder for him to understand, and when he gets overloaded he blows. He also, like his mother at his age, obsesses over all the bad things, the stresses, and just when he’s feeling better, brings up another difficult moment from the past.
Fortunately, I did learn to heal from my negative mind. My past burnouts, and the life lessons Michael has taught me about trust, love, and happiness in the simple things, have made me stronger today. The strength is not always easy, but I find myself correcting his negative voice gently as I used to my own.
Exceptional Moms, what challenges are your Exceptional Children grappling with that you can’t change for them? What are some of your challenges? It’s true that when we fight and overcome, we are stronger, but it does take time and maturity to realize this. Here’s hoping you find the courage to tackle your life challenges and inner demons, so that you can be that much better equipped to help your child with theirs. Or, if you’re lucky like most of us, your Exceptional Child will do half the work for you. Until next time.