“I love you Mommy. God knew what he was doing when he gave me you and Daddy.”
“You’re the best Mommy ever.”
These are some of the things Michael has been saying to me at bedtime over the last few days. I am touched of course, and am glad he sees the love both his father and I feel for him. Though we are far from perfect parents, who is really, we love him, care for him, and by our actions try and instill in him that we are there for him always. I have even started to tell him verbally how much we love him, even when we are angry and mad at him. I tell him that it doesn’t change our feelings for him. I think he is starting to believe me. This is not always easy, of course. We have had some rough times over the course of the last few days. High anxiety and intense behaviors that come with it. I have seen some new autism stims that have been hard for me to comprehend, though I have been trying. Somewhere along the line Michael thought I didn’t approve of his autism stims, but I have done my best to reassure him there too. I have told him I know doing these things help him center himself and feel good, so he should do them to help himself calm down. Change of routine is hard whatever time of year, and I know the first few weeks of fall are a transition for him into this time.
Still, with the increased anxiety and emotional moments, I have sensed a certain degree of security in Michael, security to be himself, to have those temper tantrums, go and calm himself on the swing downstairs, and come upstairs apologizing for his outburst and then wanting to talk about his feelings. He is understanding cause and effect, and doing his best to show me and his father that he wants to learn new ways to cope when he gets overwhelmed.
I, like Michael, am having my own emotional outbursts and talking about my new found feelings of worry, excitement and fear of the unknown. I, like Michael, am also feeling happier and more secure in my relationship as a mother and a wife. As I have learned to be true to myself and who I am, I have become more compassionate toward Michael and my husband’s struggles, and rejoiced even more in their victories. As a family we are coming together too, and learning how to work together to build each other up, one moment at a time.
How secure are you in yourselves, Exceptional Moms? I have noticed that the more secure I have started feeling, the more I can pass that feeling on to Michael, and with time, he can feel it himself. If we as Moms learn to know who we are deep down inside, we can teach our children how to connect better to their own selves, and feel that connection and security to themselves and to others. It’s a daily learning experience, but one that is well worth it. Until next time.