Teenage – Like Testing Of Exceptional Children And What It Teaches Exceptional Moms

Michael has been progressively using more testing and rude language at home. Surprisingly, this has come hand in hand with more loving behavior too at other times. Usually it is bedtime when his fears come out and we are snuggling together and talking. The rude  or disrespectful talk happens in the day time.

“Geesh, fine. I’ll do it.” This is his favorite response said with eye rolling sarcasm when we ask him to pick up his clothes off the floor or some such reasonable thing like wash up for dinner.

“Don’t be rude Michael. There’s a nicer way to talk.”

“Ah Mommy, you sound just like my teacher when you say that!” And the telltale sigh occurs again.

This is where I almost laughed the other day. It’s good to know his wonderful teacher and I are on the same page with that kind of talk. I think it is part of growing up, his testing with this type attitude. This morning he was a handful before school. And when I told him he would miss the bus and have to go into school late with me as I had a few things to do beforehand, his response was classic.

“Mommy, you need an OT to help you. I’m calling her now.” And he proceeded to pretend phone the OT! What nerve, I thought on the inside getting angry. On the outside, I calmly responded.

“No, I don’t Michael, You need an OT. I need you to listen. You don’t speak to me that way.”

“I’m sorry Mommy.”

I was amazed that he came up with that, and had to laugh to myself. This was his way of trying to one up me. These days he’s fighting following rules of all kinds. My little James Dean or Marlon Brandon. Sigh.

“I don’t want to follow rules Mommy.”

“You have to. That’s the way the world works.”

And I proceed to repeat every day that Daddy and I follow rules, his teachers. Everyone answers to someone about conduct. This is proving to be a tough lesson for my little pre-teenager to learn. But I hold out hope that he will learn it. In the meantime, his father and I are dealing with testing and attitude, and doing our best to stay calm and show him the right way to act. His attitude is forcing us to examine our own behavior, appropriate and not to things, and to model what is expected of all of us. He is helping us grow even more. This is positive offshoot of this kind of behavior.

Are you experiencing rude and challenging verbal behavior from your exceptional children, Moms? How do you handle it? I think that it’s in us staying calm, giving reasonable consequences, as well as showing our kids we love them regardless. This will eventually turn the tide and help us raise children who can stand up for themselves as well as co-exist peacefully in society. With our children’s extra challenges that is no easy feat, but one that will happen if we take it day by day modeling appropriate behavior, consequences and showing love.  Until next time.

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