The other day while I was at work, Michael went on two long walks around our neighborhood with his father. This was good exercise for both of them, but just as importantly, it was the time the spent talking and bonding that has made all the difference in them growing closer over the past year. It was always me in the past taking Michael places, or at least to the majority of places, as I was the stay-at-home parent. But as Michael has gotten older, he has been yearning to have that closer relationship with his father. His father was ready for that too, and it has been great to see them developing together.
For me, this has meant learning to let go of always being the one who had to do everything for Michael, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It has meant that I didn’t have to feel that I had to take on everything in raising Michael, and if I let go and took some time for me, he wouldn’t fall apart, we wouldn’t fall apart. I had to learn to ask for help, time away, and to show both of my boys that they needed each other as much as they needed me and I needed them. Before last year, for various reasons, that was hard for me to do this. I’m so glad I’ve come to the point now where the guilt is gone, and I see that it was not only necessary for their survival, but for mine, that Michael start attaching to other prominent adults around him, starting with his Dad.
Exceptional Moms, are you still trying to do it all for your kids? Are you learning or have you learned to ask for help from partners, family members if they are able to, babysitters, friends? Your exceptional child will benefit from the attention of another adult while you take the time to pursue things that fill you with passion and make you a stronger parent. It’s amazing to watch our kids blossom with the other parent, family members or other caring adults. Their level of security to you will increase, as well as their trust in the world. You will be be richer for these relationships in the end too. Until next time.