This week has been a challenging week at home for Michael and I. The cold rainy weather has not done much to make us energetic and enthusiastic. In our own ways we have been trying to cope, but put us together, and it’s been a little bit of fire and water. Michael senses I’m a little more demanding, he feels stressed, and has been testing with lots of behaviors. I get angrier, and we’re stuck in a battle of the wills, where sometimes I am acting more childish than he is. Homework is the battleground. He likes to do it, but on his terms. I can’t make a capital K so I’ll do a small k, and so on and so forth. What makes it extra challenging, is that he really can’t do these tasks easily. It’s part of the delays he experiences. Any kind of fine motor work has always been challenging for him, but being my son, he won’t ask for help easily if at all. When I try to gently show him, he gets mad. “It’s not your business Mommy!” I would have laughed at that comment, had the bus not been about to arrive in five minutes, and he was still insisting on forming the letter the wrong way in his workbook because he couldn’t do it the right way. Sigh.
You see what I mean. When Michael started getting homework this year, I didn’t know that I would be as challenged as he in doing it well. Some days and weeks do go well, but in general, it is showing me what I have to work on, my own sense of patience, control or lack thereof, and allowing more time to do homework either after school, or when he starts sleeping better again, earlier in the morning. There have been some times this week I have questioned who is really being more the child. Some days the answer has been me unfortunately, as I look to reign in my sense of mastery, my needing to let go of what I can’t control with my kid, and my asking for help. I have had issues with all of these during this challenging week.
What challenges are you facing with your Exceptional Children regarding homework, and how do you think this reflects on how you handle stress Exceptional Moms? In my support group, a few Moms were talking about hiring tutors to help their kids with homework, as they were constantly locking horns on this issue. This is something I am truly considering looking into now. Perhaps with a change of face we will both benefit from more patience with each other. The important thing to remember, is that all challenges in our lives are there to teach us something. For me, the lessons are asking for help myself, and managing my emotions. Come to think of that, Michael could benefit from learning the same two lessons. We all can. Don’t be afraid to see the bigger picture in the seemingly mundane tasks like homework. You’ll grow into a more confident person, and model that behavior for your child so they will handle the stresses of life better. Until next time.