Learning to let go has been an ongoing lesson in my life in so many ways. When I look back now at the people I’ve met, the situations I’ve had to deal with, I see that it has been God telling me how I need to forgive the negativity in others and forgive the negativity in myself. Once I began seeing how caught up I would get in worrying about what people thought about me, about what I should be doing, about why someone would stay stuck, I realized, I am in control of how I feel on the inside, and I don’t need to surround myself with stress and sadness. Yes, there are some situations that are stressful and sad and depressing. But to live life focused on those situations, didn’t free me to pursue what I really wanted to do, my mission, so to speak, in the world. I also learned that there were things I couldn’t control, and that was how it was meant to be. No human being is completely responsible for the whole world.
I have spoken before in another blog about how we all have a mission, a reason to be here. I really believe this to be true. I also believe that our children are our best teachers in showing us the way. For them, we want to be at our best, to give them the best possible outcome. But sometimes we get stuck in negative patterns, wanting to control everything so much, that we don’t see that by letting go of our fears and worries, the path will open up. Michael, like most exceptional children, has very little fear of saying what he thinks. Some people have joked some exceptional children have no social filter. That is not always a bad thing. He will voice his opinion, negative or positive on a subject and question why he can’t do something he wants. He has hopes, dreams and wants to realize them. Yes, sometimes they may seem impossible or may not happen, but who’s to say they won’t? He has told me he wants to be a surgeon, a bus driver, a teacher at his school. Michael doesn’t give up on what he wants, or see the bad in people. He’s always trying to help friends out at school. He wishes his grandparents well on their doctor’s visits. He doesn’t hold grudges. I lost my temper with him the other day after school over a stupidity.When I realized I had been a little too intense in my reaction, I apologized and asked Michael if he forgave me. “Of course I do Mommy.” He doesn’t stay mad long. I am learning how to do more of the same.
How about you, Exceptional Moms? How much negativity about yourselves and towards others have you kept inside? I’m sure you know that not only is it physically unsafe to let it fester in there, but emotionally and spiritually it depletes you, and leaves no energy for growth and for the true path of your life to open up. Let go of negativity in yourself, of seeing it in others. Stop trying to fix things. As women, we specialize in this, and let your soul, your inner self direct you. When I watch Michael’s soul at work, I marvel at his beauty, and it reminds me once again of what he is here to teach me to do. Until next time.