“I Don’t Want To Listen To You”- Asserting Our Individuality While Learning to Follow Rules and Live In the Now

“I don’t want to listen to you Mommy.” This is the refrain I’m being greeted with more and more these days, along with “I don’t  want to work. I want to play.” Who doesn’t kid, I want to say. Instead, I tell him that there are things we all have to do, must do, rules we need to follow from teachers, parents, bosses. He always laughs when I give the scenario of Daddy or Mommy not listening to their boss, and would their bosses be happy, yet it is hard for him to follow what we tell him to do these days. No, not hard, seemingly impossible. He is pushing the limits of what he can get away with. He is also verbalizing more his disapproval if we don’t do things his way, which to Michael, is the right way.

Don’t we all have moments like that Moms? Don’t we all want things to go a “certain way” with our lives? We need to have this type of house, this much money, our kid to behave this way or achieve this. It can be downright frustrating when we have a view of the world as our ideal, and it doesn’t meet our requirements. We get stressed, frustrated, become unhappy with the people and things around us. I can understand when Michael feels this way. And sometimes when he is disobeying me, I get frustrated on the inside too. How dare he not listen to what I say! How dare he change my view of him as an obedient child who falls into step beside me! Then another part of me wants to rebel with him and say, fine, you go your way and I’ll go mine. But of course, I don’t do that. I can’t. We all have to follow rules, structure with some deviance from time to time. If we don’t do that, our world would cease to function properly. There would be chaos and no one would win.

Today, I challenge all of you ladies out there to let go of your expectations of how things “should” be, and from lives that have to unfold ideally and perfectly in tune. It doesn’t exist, whether your child is exceptional or not. I’ve learned the hard way, that the more I try and control everything, the more it falls out of my control. Yes, there are rules to follow, for me, for Michael, for all of us. But I am also learning to adapt better to my environment, to my child, and to my frustrations with said child and myself when I react less than favorably. After all, I am on a learning curve with Michael, figuring out how to navigate my life in easy, moderate and rough waters at times.

Living life moment to moment, learning from past mistakes, and being gentle with yourself along the way, is the only way I’ve found to strike that perfect balance between structure and asserting yourself. And if you’re lucky, you”ll see the signs the universe is sending that you’re on the right path. These are in the form of good health, good friends, and other types of blessings. Good luck on your journey. Until next time .

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