Learning Not To Over Prepare and Control Everything Around Me

It occurred to me yesterday that a lot of the stress I’ve faced in my life has been about my difficulty in letting things go. I would worry about not having enough money, not getting together enough with good friends, and about mistakes I’ve made with decisions in my life in the past. On the other hand, I’ve tried to overcompensate and make things EASIER for myself by over preparing, over studying for an exam, over rehearsing what I would say on that first date, (when I had one eons ago), and you know what ended up happening? Usually, exactly the opposite of what I’d planned, which would throw me for a loop, and it was usually better than I’d planned. God knows, (or if you prefer), the Universe knows what you need, when you need it, and will give it to you. And even if it doesn’t seem like the best thing at the time, I’m learning that it is the best thing for you at that time. This is tricky if it is not something good that is happening. How can that be positive? Well, the answer is that it is teaching you about how you need to take better care of yourself in that area and learn to grow.

I learned such a lesson yesterday while talking with our Psycho Educator about Michael. He is exhibiting a lot of testing behaviors, and as you all have heard before, night fears. As we were talking, she made the suggestion that perhaps I’ve been explaining too much to Michael about my job, our schedule, our family life. I was just thinking those same things myself last week! Could Michael be more nervous because I am over preparing him for possible changes in my work schedule, our family life? Maybe I am adding to it inadvertently? It’s hard because he is so aware of everything. He senses how we feel as we are feeling it. But there are still things that are adult responsibilities, not a child’s.

It’s only when I forget that I’m not completely in charge that I suffer stress and am hit with a setback. Then, it’s like a little light turns on in my head and says, “stop, listen and feel what and where the universe is leading you.” Right now, today, it’s telling me to take care to lighten my and Michael’s emotional load, by prioritizing what’s really important and in my control to worry about, and leaving the rest alone for another day. Pictograms and planning for you and your Exceptional Children are helpful in some respects, but in others, you know that it is best to let things unfold in a more natural way and deal with people, emotions and problems in the moment. I feel happiest and whole in my body when I do this, because I believe this is how we are all meant to live as human beings. As Exceptional Moms particularly, we have learned to go with our gut when it comes to what works best with and for our Exceptional Child/ren. We need to apply this same way of life ourselves. It is the path to a much happier and balanced life. Until next time.

2 thoughts on “Learning Not To Over Prepare and Control Everything Around Me

  1. Living by my basic gut reactions and instincts is something I have also learned to finally do. I have taken jobs and other responsibilities when my gut was crying out to be listened to. I never had enough confidence in myself to obey those instincts and I’ve learned the hard way each time. I just quit a job I knew I shouldn’t have taken in the first place. I think all mothers can learn from listening to what’s going on in their gut. I believe it has been the seed for some of my depressions when I think back to the times I did not set boundaries and live within my limits. Thankfully, I am learning bit by bit and it’s one of the benefits of getting older. Thank you for an insightful message.


    1. Thank you for sharing your story Silvia! Yes, living by our guts is important for all of us. When I have listened to mine I have never been wrong, and when I haven’t I have suffered as well. I’m glad the message came across so clearly.


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