Once again it was a struggle for Michael to get up this morning. I knew it was probably partially due to the fact that he had gone to bed a little later the night before, and partially to do with the new medication he is on that may be making him more tired. I also knew though, that the bus was coming in five minutes and my little angel was still finishing his breakfast. When it arrived, he power dressed and was out the door (with my help), but also with a lot of yelling along the way, that is, on my part.
I was not proud that I lost my temper. It was so obvious to see that his problems with sequencing are the reason. He was not acting out and going slow on purpose. After the bus left the curb this morning, I felt so guilty. I needed to reach into my patience reserves as an exceptional mom and parent coach. I needed to understand where Michael was coming from. Usually I do. Michael responds to me because of this, as well as families I’ve worked with. When I thought of what strategies I could build into our routine over the summer to prepare him for next year, I realized: videos, pictures of him doing his morning routine. There were lots of options. The most important thing was realizing that Michael sees the world differently than I do, than many of us do. He sees the world through his unique and different brain. I see both similarities and differences in how he views things than others on the spectrum. It is important to respect and respond to this.
How am I going to do this? First off all, it means taking care of myself physically, spiritually and psychologically. This means doing things that fill up my Mom bucket with hope, love and patience, so I can show that to Michael. It also means having time to myself to think about how my words and actions affect Michael. Finally, it means being open to admitting when I have made a mistake and learning from that. It’s easier to do in one’s job or adult relationships than with a child sometimes, but unless a parent can show their child it is ok to mess up and learn, the child will not be comfortable messing up and learning from their mistakes. This morning was one of those lessons of humility for which I am grateful for and I know I will learn from.
Exceptional Parents, how do you build more parenting patience into your life with your child? The first thing is self-nurturance. Only when you can heal yourself, can you show your child how to begin healing themselves and learning from their mistakes. Until next time.
I am a writer, speaker and parent coach. I blog about how my exceptional son with autism and type 1 diabetes is raising me to a better human being and exceptional mom. My mission is to empower other exceptional parents to trust in their parenting instinct while letting their exceptional child open their eyes to all that is possible! For more information on my coaching services and to download a copy of my FREE EBOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” see my website, http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com.