I love Michael to pieces. I love his smile, his sense of humor. But then there are those days, those tough parenting days when you can’t wait for bedtime slightly after 6:15 am on a Saturday morning. Yes, you heard me. Michael was up at 6 am sharp fighting with his Dad. The two of them were letting me “sleep in”. I can tell you. I was not sleeping, but trying to hide in my bed. If there had been a way to get myself a cup of coffee and climb out the bedroom window into the car to enjoy said cup of coffee I would have done it. Alas, I sucked it in after saying a quick prayer and emerged out of the bedroom to face the music. I managed to help Dad calm Michael down, but it was just one of those days that started out hard, and ended in difficulty too. No tears or crying on my part this time, just bone tired exhaustion. Michael was extremely overtired and that didn’t help. Sunday went a little better, but there was still so much testing, so much drama. What saved me both days was a bubble bath, some wine, reading a new fiction book and my freelance article writing. Having writing be a part of my life is so important now. It helps me connect to the artist in me.
But getting back to how I handled things with Michael. I felt both discouraged and stressed. Discouraged that I didn’t hold my patience as well as I would have liked to. There was lots of raised voices and lots of frustration alongside constant reminders about using calm corners, calm cards, strategies etc. This applied to me and Michael, and I think I rebounded well for both of us in the end, but there were some moments when I just felt so tired. What got me through is remembering I am not alone. I have support. I used humor too. And I started looking at different ways I have lost patience and gained it back. I thought that this was a useful thing for me to remember the next time I felt discouraged. What were some of the things I thought of that helped? Here they are:e
- Let it Out: As hard as it may be to lose it, sometimes doing a little bit of letting out frustration is good. It is healthy for our kids to see us process anger, and we will see hopefully that we are being a little silly over dramatizing something our kid did. If we start unraveling further, its time for an adult calm corner. DO NOT HESITATE to set this example to your child.
- See the Struggle-Not The Insults: This is hard. As an Exceptional Mom, when your child is insulting you, hitting you or doing anything he/she can to push your buttons, you may have a hard time seeing their pain, but the pain is real. After a hard night with Michael yesterday, I said at the end, “I know you don’t want this. Why are you not letting me help you Michael?” He responded to my shock, “You want to help me? You can?” Gone was the cheeky rudeness to get his way. It put a new perspective on our fight.
- Reward Yourself With a Treat As You Would Your Child:Moms, you’ve had a hard day. It didn’t go as you planned. You feel discouraged, stressed, like a bad Mom. You are not. You did your best. Now it’s time to give yourself some self-care. Take a bath, watch a movie, read a book. Do what makes you feel whole. And forget the housework. Give yourself the night off.
- Remember To Choose Love Over Being Right:If you are trying to one your kid, neither of you wins. Also let your child know you are there to help them be successful.
- Mediate, Exercise, Pray or Do All Three; Get in touch spiritually with your inner self. You will handle everything better when you.
Exceptional Parents, how do you find patience when you’ve lost it? How do you figure out how to rebuild your calm after the storm so it is easier to show your child how to rebuild theirs? As with anything, you need to see what works for you, your child and your family. Generally though, eating, sleeping and exercising are great ways to sharpen one’s mind. Remembering things of the spirit; prayer, yoga, meditation are great ways to also get in touch with yourself. And when you are in touch with yourself and calm, you can better help your child find their patience and self-control when they have lost it. Until next time.
I am a writer, speaker, and parent coach. As the parent of an exceptional child who is raising me to lead a bigger life and purpose, I understand the challenges nonetheless of raising a child who truly thinks out side the box and has difficulties at times with the way many others see the world. My passion is helping parents to handle the challenges of raising their children to be fully functioning in our world, as well as teaching them the miracles that their child truly is in spite of the difficulties. I truly believe in helping parents lead lives of hope, health, and balance for their own sake and that of their children’s and family’s. For more information on my coaching programs or to book a FREE 30 MINUTE EXPLORATION session with me, see my website: www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com.
It’s Spring. The weather is changing and sometimes exceptional children have a difficult time managing big emotions. Is your family struggling to handle emotional challenges? Maybe you need to tweak the way your family handle anxiety? If so, download my FREE EBOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com/EBOOKS