Losing It At Soccer-Understanding Our Exceptional Child’s Difficulty With Transitions

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So tonight was Michael’s first soccer game with his local league. There are always challenges, but this year I had hoped it would be easier for him. It is his third year doing it. He knew the coaches. He was talking with excitement about playing tonight. Yet, when we showed up he still was scared, did not want to play, and insisted on bringing along his comfort toy to feel better. I was upset initially as he had been looking forward to it. I thought it would be smooth sailing, especially after an intense afternoon of talking about his fears and anxieties at school, and then some off the wall impulsive behavior. However, it took some time for him to turn things around. I realized that as I spoke of yesterday, I too am still learning to handle this impulsive behavior in the light of seeing it as truly difficult for Michael to control.

There were some things he said and did which I know were attention seeking, but most are out of his control. He has gotten so good at telling me how he sees things though. Our communication has gotten stronger, and for all his fears of doing something the first time, when he comes around, boy does he give things his all. He has shocked me with expressing interest in trying out playing in a center he had boycotted months ago, and tonight, shock of all shocks, asking about trying catechism at church again in the fall. Wow! I have always known about the roller coaster of emotions he carries around. I admire his strength and resilience more now than ever, as we are finding the right medicine and therapy to help him feel at his calmest. It is helping me find my best balance for me too, what is my balance and what tools I am using that are working or not, so I can practice what I preach as a calm Mom.

Exceptional Parents, how good are you at being the calm in your child’s storm as they manage transitions and difficulties? It’s ok if you aren’t always Zen Mom or Dad. None of us is one hundred percent of the time. The most important thing to remember is that we all can learn from our mistakes and use them as teachable moments for ourselves and our children to become even stronger and closer. Until next time.

I am a writer, speaker and parent coach. I blog about how my exceptional son with autism and type 1 diabetes is raising me to a better human being and exceptional mom. My mission is to empower other exceptional parents to trust in their parenting instinct while letting their exceptional child open their eyes to all that is possible! For more information on my coaching services and to download a copy of my FREE EBOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” see my website, http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com.

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Reigning In Impulsive Reactions- Yours and Your Exceptional Child’s

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Things have actually been getting better at home with Michael. He is less aggressive and better able to express himself to me. Then there are the precious moments. The ones that take my breath away, like when he cooks an amazing meal, performs a song for us, or tackles something scary and succeeds. These give me hope for him that he will do the things he says he wants to do. What is harder for me to understand, and where I still have some ways to go, are with his impulsivity. I know this is part of his attention issues and temperament. He really can’t help some of the  things he does, but it’s hard for me to control my frustration all the same. That is why remembering, “he would do better if he could” is becoming my motto.

I’m still new as a parent to understanding ADHD and ADHD issues. Anxiety I get a little more. I saw Michael’s anxiety from birth, and it was not a stretch to see that he got it from his Dad and I who are both anxious people. We have learned strategies over the years to manage it, and are trying to help Michael find his strategies, the strategies that will work for him. Sometimes he finds them quick enough, but most of the time he acts before thinking. The other day he accidentally broke a lamp. Another time he was rushing to put his lunch away in the fridge. He makes his lunch on his own for awhile now and I was super proud, but then in rushing he knocked something down. He will not always see it needs to be picked up when it does. But what worries me the most, are the verbal and mental overreactions when people upset him. If it’s us, he will yell out loud threats, if it’s other people, the threats are internalized. He is learning how to breathe first and calm down before reacting, but again this is challenging.

I am trying to learn how his brain works in this regard, so I can be more understanding too. After school today he was all over the map with anxiety and overreating when I did not answer him right away, and I was doing my best to stay calm. I did not fool Michael. He asked me at one point,

“Are you being firm or loving now Mommy?”

He knows the difference when I am truly happy with his behavior and when I have to buckle down because he is not using his strategies.

“I am being a little bit of both Michael. You know I love you, but I want to see you using your strategies. If you need my help, ask me.”

The rest of the late afternoon early evening went well with me. He is learning slowly how to ask for help, how to control his emotions, and I, for one, am learning to cut him some slack when he does mess up with not controlling himself. After all, I’m still learning how to control myself on how to parent my multi-faceted child.

Exceptional Parents, how good are you with your child’s impulsive actions and your own? For many of us, before we can help our children handle their emotions, we’ve got to learn to handle our own reactions to their emotional outbursts. Once you can do that, show them you love them wholly for who they are, then you and your child are on the way to better understanding impulse control. Until next time.

I am a writer, speaker and parent coach. I blog about how my exceptional son with autism and type 1 diabetes is raising me to a better human being and exceptional mom. My mission is to empower other exceptional parents to trust in their parenting instinct while letting their exceptional child open their eyes to all that is possible! For more information on my coaching services and to download a copy of my FREE EBOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” see my website, http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com.

Love And Acceptance-The Two Things To Remember In Helping Your Exceptional Child Learn Self-Control

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Tonight was one of those nights I wished I had had more patience. I was tired, and doing my best to be ready for Michael’s return home at forty-thirty. He has been getting more and more anxious as the weeks have rolled by. It is always this way at this time of the year. Most children are feeling it. The ending. The uncertainty of what summer will bring, or just the fact that they want to be on summer vacation and are upset that it is still school time. Regardless, in Michael’s case the stress has been evident in his being upset at his teachers, upset at the boy on the bus, and upset at so many little things that Dad and I say or don’t even know we say that anger him. He is a bundle of nerves, and that bundle comes in at and the nerves don’t really settle till eight thirty or nine o’clock most nights when he is in bed and wants to hug and talk. Today there was some aggression, mostly verbal with some physical, thrown in the mix early on. It wore me out, and my responses were not the most sympathetic after dinner. I wished I had remembered the golden rule when it comes to exceptional kids which I had forgotten. That rule is that they would do better if they could. The wonderful book  “The Explosive Child” talks about the fact that our children cannot always control their reactions and don’t know the strategies to put in place. They need us to help them put those strategies in place.

This afternoon I listened to Michael’s stresses, reminded him about his strategies. I complimented him on remembering to make his lunch and doing it. However, I totally forgot in all my talk about strategies to ask him how else I could help him. Also, when he made very provocative statements that were meant to anger and shock, I needed to respond with a “I can see you are upset or stressed. What can I help you with?” This always met with a happier ending to the difficulties Michael has in regulating. There were many good moments today when Michael pulled himself together. He made the bus with no issues saying he wanted me to be proud of him. He made his lunch without any reminders. And after our big fight when bath/shower was finished, I went to the kitchen and while doing dishes had a long cry. All the pent up emotions of the past four hours needed to come out. Michael surprised me by coming in to apologize and hug me. This had never happened before without prompting. Wow! I felt worse then that I had not seen sooner that his difficulty regulating, his anxiety and all the other challenges are not fully in his control. Due to my own tiredness and stress, I forgot that he does not have full control over his emotions and still needs my help. I apologized to him too for forgetting this, and left him with the thought that Dad and I are at the top of the list on Team Michael and will do all we can to help him. We will just remember to remind him that we are there to do that, no matter what happens.

Exceptional Parents, have you ever forgotten what your child can and cannot control? If you have, don’t worry. You are only human and have your breaking point too. It’s important to learn from your mistakes, and remember that your child needs to know you are there to help them no matter what. Michael’s words “are you proud of me Mommy?” rang in my ears tonight. I told him that yes I am, when he makes good choices. And when he doesn’t, I will always be there to help him start again. Remember to help your child in the same way. Until next time.

I am a writer, speaker and parent coach. I blog about how my exceptional son with autism and type 1 diabetes is raising me to a better human being and exceptional mom. My mission is to empower other exceptional parents to trust in their parenting instinct while letting their exceptional child open their eyes to all that is possible! For more information on my coaching services and to download a copy of my FREE EBOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” see my website, http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com

When You and Your Exceptional Child’s Boundaries Become Blurred-How To Get Back Your Personal Space

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As I sat next to one of my closest friends filling out the health card before my yearly massage at a spa for our ladies getaway, I came to the health section where it asked about diseases and medications. Almost immediately, my pen was about to check off the box that said diabetes and under medication list the medications Michael is on currently. I took a deep breath and said in my head, “Joanne, that’s not your medical record. This is medical paperwork for you, not Michael.” I then tried to laugh it off and made a joke with my friend about confusing my health with Michael’s. Man, did I need this spa getaway, but then I thought about it. Was it so far from the truth? Mothers carry their children in their womb for nine months. We are connected instantly with one another, and then after birth it is usually Mom who is dong most of the care giving. It is not only normal, but even sometimes socially acceptable that Moms and their babies and  later children bond like one person, until it sometimes becomes unhealthy. A woman should never lose her identity in another, whether it is in a romantic or platonic relationship with an adult or as a parent. Yet this happens all the time. And when a woman is in a care giver role, she automatically becomes so invested in her child’s welfare, it feels like her welfare. Even all the worrying we do about our child’s health, especially exceptional parents, feels like we are worrying about our own health, except it isn’t. I have to constantly remind myself on the days I start to feel sorry for myself for the extra stress worrying about Michael’s emotional and physical health, what another great exceptional mom said to me, “and it’s not even happening to you.”  True. It’s his life not mine.

No matter what, our children’s health and problems are their problems.  We are just there as guides to help usher them into the world with strategies to handle their stress, anxiety, anger and other challenges. We can’t know what is going on in their heads. I read books and blogs written by other exceptional autistic and ADHD individuals to see what is going on in their heads. This helps me understand Michael better as a lot of it is closer to what I see him expressing. I am doing the same now with people who have diabetes. This gives me a little glimpse into Michael’s brain, and also shows me that though I love him, I am not him and he is not me.

It is not healthy to merge to the point that you forget who you are. My annual spa getaway as well as other little mini rituals I have daily, remind me that I am a separate person besides being Michael’s Mom and advocate. And he needs to see,  especially as he gets older, that he is more than just my son. He is an individual with his own tastes, preferences and rights, which his Dad and I are listening more to everyday. We don’t force him to do activities we think are great if he really does not want to do it. Still, I was disturbed when I almost wrote down his medical profile on my medical record for the massotherapist. This showed me that I have been inching a little more away from my personal identity, and not making the time at night to be Joanne. Me.  That has to change. It was both easy and difficult to relax on my weekend getaway, but though feeling only a little guilty over a more expensive meal than I usually engage in, I was happy that I got away from being a Mom and wife for 24 hours. I was a woman out having fun with another close woman friend. My biggest problem was which spa pool to soak in, should I indulge in desert, and do I sleep in or get up early to write?  All Moms need to have mini times to themselves every day to get re-acquainted with who they are, as well as nightly or weekend sabbaticals once in a while to remind themselves and their families what is important. Self-care goes a long way to healing body, mind and spirit.

Exceptional Parents, do you ever blur your identity with your child’s? If so, think back to the last time you had a Mommy or Daddy night out alone. If you can’t remember when it was, it’s time to book one whether it is a local massage, a walk or coffee out alone, or just going out for dinner with a friend. Remember, you will only be a good parent once you nurture yourself first. You cannot pour from an empty cup.  Good luck on your self-care voyage. Until next time.

I am a writer, speaker and parent coach. I blog about how my exceptional son with autism and type 1 diabetes is raising me to a better human being and exceptional mom. My mission is to empower other exceptional parents to trust in their parenting instinct while letting their exceptional child open their eyes to all that is possible! For more information on my coaching services and to download a copy of my FREE EBOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” see my website, http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com.

How Exercise And Movement Helps The Exceptional Child Feel Better

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Michael has been active since birth. He has always loved to move and has felt the best when he was exercising, playing, walking, exploring. Of course, it was sometimes done at a pace that was faster than I was used to. That is when I learned about sensory integration and how important it was for a different brained child to have exercise and movement in their life. It is important for neuro typical children too, of course for many of the same reasons- stress release, balance and bonding with parents. But for kids with sensory issues and aggression, physical movement will go a long way in helping them handle anxiety. I see that when Michael moves, he is calmer. He uses movement both to regulate and calm down. I have learned to tell the difference over the years.

This week has been a particularly tough week anxiety wise.  My heart breaks for him as he is either struggling with anxiety or aggression, sometimes both, but usually one or the other. I know how hard it is for him to control his emotions, his anxiety. He has some good tools that he uses (deep breathing, jumping on his trampoline, swinging, a mantra he says to calm down), but sometimes even this does not work. We are now back to searching for new strategies to help with fears over accessing negative videos on the internet and anything internet related, fears of changes in teaching staff, or handling issues on the bus. It all boils down to one central issue-lack of control over his own feelings and inadequate coping mechanisms. I know Michael can breathe and make his way through these crises’, but the problem is Michael is not trusting himself. I know once he does, he will do amazing as he does at everything else.

Exceptional Parents, does your Exceptional Child do better at coping with stress after being physically active? I’m sure they do. We all do. The thing is, with our Exceptional Kids they need regular exposure to exercise and movement for the benefits to take effect. With time, they will realize that when they move, they feel calmer, and that calm feeling along with other strategies to stay balanced like sensory massages, yoga and breathing, will help them move to the next level in handling their own anxiety issues. Until next time.

I am a writer, speaker and parent coach. I blog about how my exceptional son with autism and type 1 diabetes is raising me to a better human being and exceptional mom. My mission is to empower other exceptional parents to trust in their parenting instinct while letting their exceptional child open their eyes to all that is possible! For more information on my coaching services and to download a copy of my FREE EBOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” see my website, http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com

How Sensory Massages And Physical Activity Can Help Manage Anxiety and Aggression

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Spring has sprung. I know this by the weather and by Michael’s  sensory system which is making him want to move more, squeeze more, and has him needing things like sensory massages to balance his nervous system. Sensory massages were the things that saved my relationship with Michael years ago when I could not reach him. He would turn away from me and not seem to want to interact. Massages helped bring us together as he connected with me and I with him during these times. I have talked about Wilbargher Protocol and Qigong Sensory Massage in previous posts. There is training involved by qualified Occupational Therapists and Qigong Certified Massotherapists, but once that is done, the practice is parent-centered, meaning that parents control when their child receives the massage. This is such a worthwhile tool. Your child will be calmer, more organized and better able to handle anxiety and aggression.

Even once the old strategies Michael had for dealing with his problems were not working, these massages helped us connect in a way that we were able to talk afterwards about finding new solutions to old problems. Michael is older now, so he needs more sophisticated tools to handle stress, including medication and other educational tools. But the massage is still part of our routine if he needs it. Meditation music and taking a bath sometimes happen before or after as well. All of this is part of the package our family uses to help Michael feel as comfortable as he can in his own body. Going to the park and doing more physically stimulating things like bike riding and sports help a lot too.

Exceptional Parents, what tools do you use to help your Exceptional Child regulate in the Spring once the warm weather comes? Remember, you need to address psychological, physical and sensory needs to have a whole picture of how your child is feeling. Your job is to help them learn to recognize how best to regulate their own bodies. Once they can do that, real learning and growing can begin. Until next time.

I am a writer, speaker and parent coach. I blog about how my exceptional son with autism and type 1 diabetes is raising me to a better human being and exceptional mom. My mission is to empower other exceptional parents to trust in their parenting instinct while letting their exceptional child open their eyes to all that is possible! For more information on my coaching services and to download a copy of my FREE EBOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” see my website, http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com

When Your Exceptional Child Likes You Again- The Payoff of Hard Parenting Work and Love

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My little boy has come back. He is communicating his feelings, his thoughts, both fearful and not, and WANTS to spend time with me playing, talking and laughing. It is a joy for me. We have come far in the last six months, particularly in the last month or two. The combination of good medication, good therapy and strategies from his educator, psychiatrist and school team, as well as the strategies I learned from the book “The Explosive Child”  By Ross W. Greene, have served Michael and I well so far. Dad is playing a little bit of catch up as he and Michael are still having their share of struggles, but things are slowly improving.

What has also helped Michael make progress, however, has been his willingness to try new ways of handling his fear and anger. He has realized how important it is to practice self-control so he is happy at home with us his parents, and with himself. He also began to believe us when we told him how important he is to us, and how much we want to help him. I have been particularly telling him to share his anger with me, that I am here to help him and remind him of what he did in the past to help himself feel better. I don’t think he connected us wanting to help him and believing that much of his lack of self-control over his emotions was not his choosing. His brain is wired that way, and he needs extra time to adjust to circumstances and respond to them. As he has seen me give him his space to adjust, he has been forthcoming about his difficulties.

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A beautiful thing that has also occurred is that he now is willingly sharing his triumphs too, as well as school news which he always did. Dare I say it, the subject of God has even come up, and this from the kid who was saying months ago he didn’t believe in God anymore. I know that was the hormones, peer pressure and rebellion talking. But still, coming on the heels of so much anger, aggression and swearing at his parents, Dad and I were discouraged, to say the least. So, what were the main things that changed our family dynamic at home to get us from a place of desperation to one of closeness again? Here are some tips I am happy to share to help you and your exceptional child if you are struggling with anxiety and/or aggression:

  1. Be willing to step outside of your comfort zone: If you have tried different things that are not working to control negative behavior in your child ask yourself are you seeing them as victims of their negative emotions or manipulating you? I can tell you, your child is not in control and needs your help to get it back.
  2. Practice mindfulness yourself and have your own calming down strategies in place: You need to be in a place of calm in order to show your child what calm is. Work on your emotions first.
  3. Take it one day at a time and forgive yourself: When you make a mistake or your child does, it’s not all over. When everyone has calmed down, take the time to explain that we all make mistakes and can learn from them.
  4. As tired as you are, make time to BE with your child: This is a tough one, especially if your child has or is being aggressive toward you, but find things to do together in the moments when they are calm and loving, even if it is just sitting next to them watching a movie to start. Be there for them when they need to talk. Offer help and support. Don’t give up even if they push you away at first. You are showing them you care. It will take time, but they will learn to trust you again.
  5. Don’t be afraid to take a parenting break: Make sure you have a back up person (if the other parent is also struggling in getting along with your child), so you can recharge as a parent and nurture yourself. Once you have some alone time, you will feel better and more courageous to try new things to help and be there for your child.

 

Exceptional Parents, are you going through a challenging time with your Exceptional Child? Do you feel like nothing you are doing is working? Don’t worry. It just means it’s time for a change. Look at what isn’t working and what is. Focus on the positive. Get a team behind you to support you on making changes to the negative, and remember, what you are fighting for is not only your relationship with your child, but their relationship to the world around them. Until next time.

I am a writer, speaker and parent coach. I blog about how my exceptional son with autism and type 1 diabetes is raising me to a better human being and exceptional mom. My mission is to empower other exceptional parents to trust in their parenting instinct while letting their exceptional child open their eyes to all that is possible! For more information on my coaching services and to download a copy of my FREE EBOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” see my website, http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com.

Mother’s Day Blessings And How To Appreciate The Little Things Your Exceptional Child Expresses

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Mother’s Day had never been typical in our house. There have been some years when there was flurry of family visiting which overwhelmed Michael and exhausted me when he was little. There have been others I spent crying in my room where even going out somewhere just the three of us was a trial. Then, there were the glorious ones. I’ll never forget the one when Michael was four years old and rode a tricycle for the first time all by himself down the street. Tears were pouring down my cheek, and though I enjoyed the flowers from Dad, the craft Michael had made me at preschool as well as the dinner we ordered in, that was the highlight of my Mother’s Day that year.

Over the course of the last few years though, I have truly learned how to balance what I enjoy most about this day with what Michael is capable of doing on that day. As he has gotten older, Mother’s Day has become more of what he will make for me in school and perhaps do for me at home. Before when he was younger, he was famous for saying, “Yeah, it’s Mother’s Day. I get to have Indian food,” as yes, that has become our staple food to order in on Mother’s and Father’s Day. Now this year, he said that included in the gift he made at school, he wanted to bake me cookies. He talked about not having enough money saved up to buy me bath supplies from my favorite bath store.  He said next year he would make sure he had it. I was touched beyond belief that he was thinking of getting me things I liked, and that Mother’s Day was about me as it is about celebrating what all Moms do for our children. It is out of love, of course, and we would not trade it for anything in the world, but still we appreciate being remembered. He is maturing and coming into his own. I, for my part, told him that the gifts  did not matter. Spending time with him is what did as well as the fact that he is my gift. It felt so special to be able to share this with him, as my mother had shared it with me years and years ago.

This made me realize how Moms need not have any particular expectations of what will happen on Mother’s Day. Make sure your child knows that you celebrate having them in your life and mark the truly amazing journey being an Exceptional Mom has been for you. It’s far from an easy journey, which is why I have also learned in the last few years to make sure I spend some time on Mother’s Day alone too unwinding. I usually do this near the end of the day. I take a cup of coffee or glass of wine (or Sangria) 🙂 outside if the weather is nice, or curl up in one of my favorite rooms in the house (my solarium or home office) with a book or a writing journal, and soak up some quality r & r Mommy time. It’s important to recharge those Mama batteries for all the days to come when my child will need me to be strong and understanding. As any Mom will tell you, it is your job to be ready to help your child no matter what.

Exceptional Parents, what has been your most positive Mother’s Day memory? What has been your hardest Mother’s Day? No matter what, remember, being a mother is hard work. It is soul work, and requires a woman to grow, nourish and feed the parts of herself that will contribute to helping her raise another human being to the best of her abilities. Your child knows you love them, and will feel your joy on Mother’s Day if you follow their lead, and what they understand about the celebration. In the end, it’s all about the journey of growth you are both on together as you raise each other. Until next time.

I am a writer, speaker and parent coach. I blog about how my exceptional son with autism and type 1 diabetes is raising me to a better human being and exceptional mom. My mission is to empower other exceptional parents to trust in their parenting instinct while letting their exceptional child open their eyes to all that is possible! For more information on my coaching services and to download a copy of my FREE EBOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” see my website, http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com.

 

Stumbling, Falling And Getting Up- 5 Ways to Learn From Your Parenting Plan Mistakes And Forgiving Yourself

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Ok so I know better. I’ve read, been told, practiced and repeated again to stay away from the mistakes I made to make things worse or aggravate a tough situation. Yet I found myself doing it tonight. Yes, I was tired. Yes, I was needing a break. Yes, I had a weak moment. But, was it ok? Sure it was! As parents, especially Exceptional Parents, we will have moments when we fall, make mistake and either lose our tempers with our child/dren or make mistakes from the past. It is not a crime. We are human like our children. We need to be humbled, learn from our mistakes and move on. Here are 5 things we can learn from parenting mistakes:

  1. Forgive your stumbles in the dark: Yes, you know better. You’ve told your friends, your family, your partner yet YOU have committed the very mistake. It’s ok. Breathe. You recognized it. Forgive yourself and move on.
  2. Learn from it: Learn from the mistake like you teach your child to do. Everything good and bad happens for a reason. It is the Universe or God’s way of preparing us for greater battles ahead for ourselves and/or others we are helping.
  3. See how your child responds: Most kids are happy to see their parents account for their personal mistakes. It makes them feel safe and worthy knowing that Mom and Dad mess up too and can account for it.
  4. Apologize to your child: A Similar to 3 but taking it a step further. For those of us who really get the “do as I do” analogy, this is where apology matters. If your child sees you messed up and are learning and sorry for it, they will do their best to do the same thing. If they can’t, it’s up to you as the parent to “show” them strategies on how to do it.
  5. Reflect on what you learned about you in this process: Yes, it is not all bad. When we make mistakes, we as parents learn what we need to fix and improve upon in our own selves. We also can celebrate that we recognize what needs tweaking. I have been doing very well implementing a new parenting plan in my household, but tonight forgot my good intentions and due to tiredness reverted to some old parenting habits which caused some fights in the early evening. I heard the little voice in my head saying no no, that is the old you. The new me took over!

Exceptional Parents, do you have parenting rules that you follow flawlessly or do you sometimes slip back into old habits? Don’t worry. Be patient with your own parenting process as you are with your child’s growth, and good things will emerge on the journey for you and your child. Until next time.

I am a writer, speaker and parent coach. I blog about how my exceptional son with autism and type 1 diabetes is raising me to a better human being and exceptional mom. My mission is to empower other exceptional parents to trust in their parenting instinct while letting their exceptional child open their eyes to all that is possible! For more information on my coaching services and to download a copy of my FREE EBOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” see my website, http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com

 

 

 

Bridging The Exceptional Gap-Knowing You’re Back On Track With Your Exceptional Child

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I’ve done it! For the first time in months, in months, I’m back on my child’s good list. He WANTS to talk to me, hang out with me, and is turning to me to help him handle his problems. No, my Exceptional Child is not regressing. No, he is still trusting in himself and is even making new things and trying out new activities. What is different is his confidence in himself that he can make good choices. That he is a good kid. That his mother and father truly want what’s best for him, even if we are not always his first choice of people to hang out with. I too looked up to my friends at this age, but always knew my parents were in my corner. I’m glad Michael is getting there too with both his parents.

Today, I got another big compliment from Michael, “Thank you for helping me understand how to manage my anger Mommy. I’m so glad you know how to talk to me now too. I love you.”

It was a long road for me to get to this point. I thought I knew everything there was to know about Michael, then with all my years of experience as his Mom, there was still more to learn. It’s funny how I am patient with other exceptional children, other adults, and myself more than I’ve been with Michael. As he has advanced academically, I somehow thought that the other issues would resolve. I somehow thought that the whole diabetes thing would not mix in with his other rigidities and anxieties. But it has and will. He is handling learning how to show us how to handle his very unique way of seeing the world.

On the other side though, Michael has come to terms with his diabetes in a way no other neuro typical child would as quickly, I think. He reminds his teachers , his Dad and I about what he can and cannot eat, when his snacks are, performs the injection setup like a pro, and keeps asking when he can learn how to give himself his injections.  He handles low blood sugar nights, like the last two, like a pro. He explains to friends that he will have diabetes for life and that’s the way it is. He is matter of fact. Of course he is sad about it, but he accepts it in a way I did not think he would. Neither did Dad. He is our hero for this, though we don’t want to make a big deal out of it. I will probably start to cry if I do. I get people telling me, “Wow, autism, diabetes, ADHD, poor kid, what else does he have to contend with?” I sometimes feel that. But Michael is no victim and neither am I. We are fierce, funny, off the wall. We are a family that experiments with new things, laughs together and learns together. We will not be labeled. Labels are good to get help, but after that, it’s important to build on personal strengths. That is what will determine personal and family success.

Exceptional Parents, what have been your success tips in reaching your Exceptional Child? In the end it’s about spending time, showing love and acceptance, and being truly present and real with your child that makes all the difference. If you can do  that, you are well on your way to bonding with your Exceptional Child in an amazing way. Until next time.

I am a writer, speaker and parent coach. I blog about how my exceptional son with autism and type 1 diabetes is raising me to a better human being and exceptional mom. My mission is to empower other exceptional parents to trust in their parenting instinct while letting their exceptional child open their eyes to all that is possible! For more information on my coaching services and to download a copy of my FREE EBOOK “5 WAYS TO HANDLE EXCEPTIONAL FAMILY ANXIETY” see my website, http://www.creatingexceptionalparenting.com.